Posted lately by one of our own dearly-loved and loving half-minds:
“Hashing is a state of mind – a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor.”
The Wedding of Panic Button (Harrisburg-Hershey H3) and Siren Cums Loudly (Reading H3)
by Master Baster, RA, Ithaca H3
Dearly Besotted, we are gathered here in the presence of Gispert and the pack to bond these two half-minds in unholy mattress moaning. This day signifies the end of the ability to go to the hash without first wondering what your cellmate – sorry, soul mate – already has planned…
But this day also signifies that you will solve checks together, wait for the other when one of you is DFL, zip up each other’s outfit for Red Dress, support each other through ballbusting hashes, and always lay shitty trail together, hand-in-muddy-hand.
Invocation: Our lager, which art in barrels, hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, in circle as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive our spillage as we forgive those who spill against us.
Lead us not into incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers, for thine is the lager, the IPA, and the stout.
Panic Button – Repeat after me: I, Panic Button, do take this harriette for better or worse, on red wings and in red dresses, on achy feet and bad toes, in smiles and frowns, in good lovin’ and great lovin’, to have and to hash with, on pavement and through shiggy, until death do we part.
Siren Cums Loudly – Repeat after me: I, Siren Cums Loudly, do take this harrier for better or worse, in vomit and shiggy, in homebrewing disasters and remodeling chaos, in strange smells and adventures that start at 3:00AM, through back-to-back games of Tour Duh Franzia and the Beer Mile, to have and to hash with, until death do we part.
The happy couple has decided upon a double ring ceremony – may I please have the rings (Acolyte! handcuffs!) These rings are a symbol of the union between Panic Button and Siren Cums Loudly. In their roundness, they remind them to stick together, and to do a lot of running around in circles, particularly on trail. As these rings join their bodies together, so does this ceremony join their souls together (not to mention wrists and ankles).
[Song: “When It’s Incest Time in Texas,” sung by Type A-Hole]
…By the power invested in me by the state of hysteria, Gispert, and the pack herewith convened, I now pronounced you hasher and bimbo. You may snog the bride.
We do well to remember first and foremost, from the 1938 Hash House Harriers charter, that the Hash is conceived in these precepts:
To promote physical fitness among our members
To get rid of weekend hangovers
To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer
To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel
With this in mind, I submit: is this idea unique only to the hash?
Perhaps these precepts conform not only to hashing, but to other worthy activities as well?
Hashing and overachieving may be akin to the invention of, say, babaghanoujj, or chocolate-covered (bacon) or (hot peppers), your choice. Witness the combination of two ingredients that seem so mis-matched and contrary to received knowledge. At first glance, this pairing may seem to defy basic standards of cuisine or comportment in their respective realms.
Yet, upon trying the combination and seeing how well the two elements blend, the beholder may realize the truly satisfying combination wrought by one’s own hand. Or feet. Or liver. And indeed, those of practically any age can enjoy these two things in their own measure, and are encouraged to do so simply by the joy they bestow and the goodness they intrinsically possess.
The hash is a place to have fun, to enjoy the company of others in good spirits, good trail, and good (mostly) beer. It asks naught of participants but hash cash, active participation, and a desire to be active in good humor. It does not ask us to move quickly. It asks us only to find beer and rejoice and be merry. Indeed, smart hares may be advised to reward (or punish) FRBs with long shiggy back-checks, while the rest of the (smart!) half-minds enjoy company of the pack with amiable companionship and down-down-worthy (possibly murky) moments.
With that in mind, a toast:
To the feet and the liver!
On-on,
~MB
For those of you staying around Ithaca on November 25th, several of us (Alex, John, Darren and I) are celebrating the analversary of our birth by hosting the 28 Years, 28 Miles F*n R*n! Yes indeed, we will prepare for Thanksgiving by r*nning too bloody far, and we want you all to come out and have some f*n with us!
We will meet at the F.L. R*nning Store on the Commons at 8:00am in the morning, where Ian has offered to open early to keep us all warm and have an aid station, complete with Mimosas, Bloody Maries, and assorted eats and treats. Everybody can come! Bring your friends! Bring some food and beverage to keep yourself fueled! Bring a funny costume to keep us all light-hearted and happy!
We will loop out to Stewart Park and back along the Ithaca 5 & 10 course (out on Tioga, back on Cayuga), meeting at the F.L.R.Co. on the hour to regroup and pick up any more half-minds that might be interested. Once we have completed our adventure (somewhere around 1-2pm?) we will adjourn to Viva Taqueria for celebratory cake, burritos, and margaritas.
Keep in mind that this is a F*n R*n — there will be no r*nning too damn fast.
On-on,
~MB
Greetings to all the readers of the Ithaca Times! No doubt you’ve come here after being intrigued by our write-up in today’s paper. We’re pleased that you decided to find out a little more about our intrepid group of folk who like to go out, have a good time, and enjoy one another’s company amidst the splendor of New York State.
We hash every other Sunday at 3pm during the year; 2pm when Daylight Savings Time sets in so as to allow for plenty of enjoyment. Updates about our run will be posted to this site as soon as we have arrangements figured out. You are welcome to show up by surprise, or ask one of us for more information.
If you’re curious about hashing, feel free to browse around our site and those of our neighboring kennels in Buffalo, Rochester, Albany, New York City, Harrisburg-Hershey, Nittany Valley, and Erie.
Some other useful sites, if you’re curious:
http://half-mind.com — the online magazine for the worldwide Hashing community. Includes articles, rants, a catalog, listing of hash kennels & hashers, and information on Interhash 2008, a biennial annual convention of hashers convening in Perth, Australia
http://gotothehash.net — listings of kennels and hash events worldwide
http://www.northeasthashing.com — A listing of hashes in the Northeast part of the US. Not always complete, but a good guide for regional events
Gulp ‘n Run – from the Ithaca Times – the article that brought folks over here
Half-Minds one and all,
Direct from Sister Maria of H5 in PA, here is the compendium of area hashes for the summer. Most of the PA destinations are about 4 hours drive, give or take. The drive down Route 15 is excellent, most scenic indeed, and getting a couple folks together every month or so for an event would be awesome. Plus, we’ll get good ideas for our own event in August!
Just something to start you thinking, because the reason for the season is the pleasin’.
On-party,
Hey gang,
For those of you who weren’t there today at the hash, or just weren’t paying attention… Pussy Pong and myself will be hosting a planning meeting for this year’s Ithaca hash weekend, and all those able to attend and interested in making it one for the record-books is welcome to show up. It’ll be at our place, Thursday, March 29th, 8pm. We’ll order pizza delivery, so don’t worry about dinner.
We’re at 1193 Taughannock Blvd, which is a quarter-mile South of the Glenwood Pines on Route 89. To get there from Ithaca – take Route 89 North out of Ithaca about 3.8miles from Castaways, and look for a traffic sign “Y” – we’re immediately on your right after the Y on 89 (also, look for the black broken-down BMW in the driveway).
Alternatively, if coming from Tburg, take 96 South to Perry City Rd. Turn left onto Perry City, and follow this until the base of the hill, where it intersects with 89. Turn right, and we’re half a mile down the road, on your left (again, look for the BMW).
On-on,
-Dances