Dearest Wankers, Wankerettes, Wankeroos, Silly Boos, and just plain Weiners!
“Putting the finger back in the Fingerlakes Trail” is this week’s theme. Trail is brought you by the all powerful triumvirate of Plaidypussy, Debasement and virgin hare Jizz Wiz! Think of all the ways you can fit that finger in, or all the ways that you can’t, and cum dressed (or not) accordingly. Maybe we can get some fresh wisdom from our virgin hare who apparently is an expert in many things… Cum out to Teeter Pond in the Fingerlakes National Forest in Hector to celebrate Jizz Wiz’s first lay.
Trail starts EARLY at 12:69 to accommodate a really bangin On-After at Brews and Brats (a.k.a Bruised by Brats as Pepe called it at KNURD last weekend much to my giggling delight) in Trumansburg. They have 12 local beers on tap, plus local wine and cider plus 14 inch sausages! Who doesn’t like the idea of a giant meat schlong after their hash? They even have a vegetarian sausage for those who want the schlong without the meatiness. Sausage fight anyone?
Come to Groton for Sir Hornicator’s Hometown Hash! Sunday, January 26. Meet at Sykes Park at 1:69pm and follow flour to a clearing in the woods behind the pool. Pin drop here.
There will be beer! There will be Shiggy! There will be screwing
around in the woods where you can relive your best days of high school.
If you did not enjoy high school, then feel free to enjoy someone else’s
Hash cash is $5. Trail is not dog friendly this time around but it is
virgin friendly (although they may find they are no longer virgins when
we cum out of the woods).
On after: Union Tavern on Main St, formerly Farrell’s, where many a high schooler would come in the back door. Oh yeah! 😉
Hope to see you on Sunday!
-Sir Hornicator and Shiggy Shaman
Come one, Come all, Come often! (but not in my bedroom unless I’m invited 😈😁)
Come celebrate the beginning of a new decade of decadence at Floss’s 21st Anal Screw Year Hash (can you believe it!? … this event is now old enough to drink!) … and 16th Anniversary at Chez Floss!
When? – Saturday, January 11 at 12:69HST
Where? – Chez Floss, of course. DUH! 8 Corey St in Trumansburg ( Hey Google or Siri, for you fruits out there, take me to Chez Floss )
Cost? – $15 gets you an all inclusive pass to the debauchery
Deets? – it’s going to be rainy, so dress appropriately. Since we are going to be going into bars, this is not a pooch friendly Trail. We will be stopping at three bars. If you don’t like the cheap stuff that the hash is going to provide, bring cash on trail to get what you want. An ID might also be required.
There will be food at the final bar, as usual. There will also be a keg at Chez Floss.
Apres? – The Not Tub is working! Praise Gispert! Feel free to bring snacks and games for the evening party extravaganza. Crash space is available at Chez Floss and other local hasher’s homes.
“Remember, remember, the 5+5th of November— …the marching-powder treason and plot— I can’t remember the 5+5th of November, and some stranger has crashed in my cot…”
Wankers — join Hare Baster and his Goddess for a day not to be forgot, this Sunday, Nov. 5+5 at 1:69 HST at Pleasant Hovel (65 Mt Pleasant Rd) just across from Observatory Circle above Route 366 in Varna.
Trail will be LIVE, non-ball-buster/shortcut-friendly, with decent beer
and a fire. Feel free to bring snacks or bevvies for the good of all.
Hash cash is still somehow $5-5+5. Friendly leashed pups welcome.
**IH3 Hash Awards required if you are one of five
who are hoarding them past their due. BRING FORTH THE BOBBIT, HASHIT,
HORSE’S ASS, FRB PACK, HASH BABY, ETC.!!**
**Veterans of our
vaudevillian vantage: our vanguard should be vested with the theme of V!
Ergo, vanquish your denim and polyester, vigorously voyage only with
Venom, Virgin, Victory, and Valor in mind as your costume!** (PG speak: dress like your favorite V-word)
Come one, come all to the Great Halloweenie Hash of 2019. Let your hares, Porcelain Goddess and Thank You Cum Again, lead you on a spooky journey through the dark nooks of Ithaca. $20 gets you all the drinks you can drink. For a little extra, we might even go looking for your dignity when you lose it along the way.
When: Saturday October 33rd (11/2) at 6:30 pm Start location at Liquid State Costumes and ID are required.
In the woods and fields of the Fingering Lakes, myths and legends abound. But no tale is so terrifying and persistent as that of the BARE WITCH. They say flashes of her bare skin can be glimpsed bouncing and bounding through the forest. ‘Tis said she is oft trailed by a raucous coven of wizardy wankers. Her cackle can be heard for miles around. She is ever eager to lead impressionable Justs and Virgins astray. Beware her hairy tail and her false trails! Join her circle at 1:69 pm on the Burnt Hill Trail Head off Picnic Area Road, in the middle of the National Forest.
Bloody Soft Poo and Spank n Slides Excellent Adventure, Part Deuce 💩
Listen up all ye babes, dudes, dickweeds and dweebs…..It’s that time of year again, a season ending and another joyously beginning. As if! Summer rules! Let’s bust out some air guitar riffs as we say goodbye to one season and hello to another, and as we welcome a most excellent virgin hare and send away another….again…. on a most non-heinous and non-non-bogus Brexit adventure after triumphantly bagging a most non-non-non-non-excellent british babe.
Come to scope out some most resplendent sights on trail (all you bodacious babes and dudes of course), or just to bandy around some stellar shredding on the air guitar.
Don your best historical figure, ’80s/’90s wear and show some support for San Dimas High School Football as your hares Spank n Slide, Great Gashby, Bloody Soft Poo and a mystery hare get you not lost and most non-non-non-non-non-parched in the woods.