ITHACA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS’ MOST AWESOME,SUPER CUTE, OCCASIONALLY OBNOXIOUS, “ALCOHOLIC,” SELF-DESIGNATED-BEST-KENNEL TWINS-EVEEERRRRRRRR BRING TO YOU :
Twin Peeks,Part We are not Sure Because We Skipped Things and Also, We are Just Not Sure : I Dunno, Let’s Go With 5?
When: Sunday March 15th 15:00 HST (3pm wanks) [she means 2:69 ADHDHST]
Where: Chez Head-2-Toe & Oakass : 61 Straits Corners Rd Candor. [Don’t stop when you hear banjos. Stop when you hear chickens.]
What/who to bring: Cchange of clothes, Virgins, comes latelys and your best green gear to honor the triple hash goddess.
Head and Oakus will [allegedly] try and heat the barn with something that will [allegedly] not damage the brain cells you have left [after trail] , or we will have circle inside the house.
Hot tub will be open, suits are always optional. [After all, synthetic fabrics damage the uh, filters and so forth.]
Crash space available, but beware we get up early on Mondays. [Head is calling in sick on Monday, Nurse does not work on her actual birthday.]
TRAIL THIS SUNDAY! (off week hash!!!)
When: 2:00 HST
What to bring: tubes, sleds, snow shoes, snow pants, even X-country skis if you want. The snow is deep, up to my knee and up to Tasty’s vajay-jay.
Hares: Head and maybe another if he doesn’t break a hip between now and then.
Join Head for trail and sledding shinanagins.
Trail this Sunday : ONE COCK RING TO RULE THEM ALL!
**Where : Bag End 209 N Aurora St Ithaca (meet in parking lot behind Bool’s Flower Shop – but don’t park there or the Fire of Mount Doom will shoot out of Nurse’s eyes and fry your favorite bits)
**When : 2:69 HST
In honor of the final installment of the (unnecessarily serialized) epic Hobbit film release which is upcumming, trail this week will be Tolkien themed!
I am your host, Dildo Baggins and my co-hare Groin and I will be taking you on an epic adventure through the streets of the enchanted Gay Havens in search of Miruvor and Ale. Cum one, cum all in your traveling cloak and endeavor to solve the riddle that is trail set by one halfling and one halfmind.
Three Rings for the Hares under the sky,
Seven for Mismanagement in their halls of stone,
Nine for Hashers doomed to die,
One for the RA on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
On on party business,
Nurse TaKillYa (Dildo Baggins) and Brown Hole Delivery (Groin)
Information for the next Ithaca Hash:
Hares: Fertilize Her and Captain Smashballs (participating in his virgin lay)
Where: Cass Park on the west side of the road near the baseball diamonds & Turtle
When: Sunday, November 23rd, 1:69 HST
Hash cash: $5
There is no theme for this hash, but since it is just before Thanksgiving, we will be thankful that trail is being set and beer will be drunk. Also, dry bags are always advisable.