Next Saturday afternoon, join your hares, Cummando Cobbler, Country Cock, and yours truly, for an international beer banquet! Come dressed as a citizen of your favorite country for the traditional costume contest.
Meet at Bald Hill and Station Road, off 96B south in Danby State Forest at 1:69pm. Turkey and Eagle options, no Ballbuster this time (sorry). Friendly dogs and virgins welcome — BRING HASH PRIZES!! (where is the Bobbit mannequin?!?)
You say, “Don’t mess with Tex-ass.” Well, I say, “Don’t FORK with New YORK!”
Wear ALLLL your PINK to stand with Planned Parenthood and your right to CHOOSE.
This trail has T/E splits up the wazoo! Tastes Like 10th Grade encourages you to MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES as to how long you want to go – go the distance or cut it short – this is a judgement-free zone and you need to do what is best for you and your body!
BONUS PARTY!! Rustic camping is allowed in Tex-ass Hollow, and it is very damn near the FULL MOON this Saturday/Sunday weekend AND GUESS WHAT?!?!? Nobody likes a twofer on a full moon weekend like Tasty does! Cum join her Saturday night for a camp out at the Lean-To site on the DEC map (the lean-to doesn’t appear to actually exist but there is a very nice cleared spot). Maybe if she gets her shit together, there will be a keg of quality local beer. Maybe not. Party Party starts with PP.
You know what else starts with PP? Yes, that, but also – Planned Parenthood. Please consider donating a few bucks to this amazing organization that does not just provide safe, non-judgmental help to pregnant people who need an abortion, but a huge range of medical and emotional resources to people of all genders who need care to maintain a healthy sexual life.
Welcome to the Ithaca H3 weekend event for 2021. Here are a few good things to know:
COVID: We all know the basic precautions to limit our exposure to COVID. No event can be 100% risk free; however, we don’t want to be a super spreader event. All in attendance will be fully vaccinated and will do their best to limit the risk of infection. Masks are greatly appreciated when indoors. Additionally, if you are under a government mandated quarantine, test positive, or are sick, do not attend!!
Dogs: We will allow well behaved dogs, but if your dog is an asshole (barkers, biters, poorly socialized with other dogs), then please leave them home.
Special Notes: No one under 21 allowed.
What to Bring: Mask, hand sanitizer, bug spray, sunscreen, camping gear, a good attitude, condoms, lube, duct tape, safety…. use your damn head and be prepared.
2:00 pm: camp opens, kegs are tapped, registration begins
5:00 pm: Grapes of Gash (wine and horse d’oovers for the sofistercated hasher); bring a bottle to share, and don’t forgot to come dressed in your best mask or RAVE attire.
7:00 pm: dinner
8:30 pm: Rave Train cabin crawl
after: Friday Night Flash Fantasy, with DJ Red White & Blueballs
Saturday, August 28
8:00–10:00 am: breakfast begins
10:30 pm: chalk talk, followed by trail
1:00–3:00 pm: lunch begins (catered barbecue)
3:00 pm: circle
4:00 pm: beer mile and Rave-o-OH-lympixx
5:30 pm: beer yoga (bring your mat, if you want)
7:00 pm: dinner begins (sandwiches)
after: Saturday Night Super Stars, with DJ Dead Moo5e
Sunday, August 29
8:00–10:00 am: leftovers are served
9:30 am: Packin’ It Up & Crawlin’ with DJ Embee & the NGBM Krewe
12:00 pm: dance off into the sunshine
As with all hash campout weekends, the three watchwords are SAFE • SANE • CONSENSUAL. We all come to enjoy a good time, to push ourselves and our boundaries.
CONSENT IS THE BEST! Make sure to get repeated enthusiastic consent, whether it’s giving a hug, a squeeze, a butt-chug, a tickle, or a ********* ** *** *************.
FUN-KILLING IS NEVER OKAY. Be aware, be good, be giving, and be game while you are safely, sanely, and consensually performing your ridiculousness—and help everyone have the best time we all want to have!
Unwanted touching, groping, kissing, ********, or anything where someone else cannot give INFORMED CONSENT is NOT TOLERATED and NOT ALLOWED.
HASH RANGERS is a group of Ithaca H3 volunteers who are here to help ensure everyone has fun together. If you or someone you know has a problem, whatever it may be, talk to someone. Find one of us.
The second (almost annual) Watermelon hash is this Sunday August 8 starting at Burdick Pond in Finger Lakes Nat’l Forest at 1:68. We’ll be enjoying some new territory in the Finger Lakes National Forest. We’ll have circle and the on-after party at the Lady Bug Pub, complete with pool, hot tub, keg beer, tacos, and of course watermelons!
Virgins and 🐕 welcome but might need to be leashed occasionally. We will have T-E split. Closing ⭕️ and on after at the Lady Bug Pub about .4 mi from start. We’ll have food, drink and swimming. So plan to hang and relax after trail.
Come to The Trail of Two Hares! Do you like it long, hard, and fast… and a bit moist. Or do prefer it slow, gentle, and steamy? Well, you can choose your own adventure. There will be a turkey/eagle split from the start. Choose wisely.
Additional info for eagles (penguins)… Are you a strong swimmer? Perhaps bring a floaty device. A dry bag. Change of clothes. Trail will get you wet… or you can chicken.
Are you ready for a rootin’ tootin’ good time. Strap on your spurs, irons, and anything else you want to strap on and join us in the unhashed wilds just west of Corning for an Old West/America themed trail. It’s the first annual “An American Trail: Ithaca Goes West” brought to you by the very inexperienced hares: Reverse Penguin and Miss D’Erection.
This trail will have it all. Shiggy: you bet. Water crossings: depends on the rain. Blood on trail: probably. Caterpillars: Hopefully only of the Lewis Carroll variety, Gispert willing. Themed shots: you bet your sweet ass there is. Beers: Fuck yeah.
So bring your virgins, awards, dogs (there might be a small amount of road crossing at the start, leashes as needed), what have yous.
I do not recommend attempting to zen this trail. You’ll either end up cutting off a lot of stops or get very lost; take that as a challenge if you must. There is also no way to autohash this trail.
On after will be mere 30 steps from closing circle. Grilling, bonfire, yard games, hot tub. Bring a tent, plenty of space for those.
When: Saturday July 10 at 2:69 HST
Where: Reverse Penguin and Miss D’Erection’s Woodland Fortress
Turn in by the strawberry flag and drive down the gravel driveway past the strawberry fields full of fresh, ripe strawberries, and continue to the pond where you will see a big white tent. Chalk talk will be held there. Wear a fruit-themed piece of attire to celebrate the Strawberry Hash.
Will there be strawberries and ice cream at the On-In? Possibly. Will there be something to grill? Perhaps. Is that a diving board and zip line over the pond? Looks like it. Can I bring my innertube? Yes, if it hasn’t burst during Friday’s float. Will it be hot? Yes. Will it be wet? Yes. Will you be hot and wet? So many questions – come seek the answers as you search for beer in the wilds of Trumansburg.
No, really. We wouldn’t make this shiggy up. It’s definitely a PG hash. No one else would set something so muddy and wet. I mean, really! Who says we can’t go down a creek just because it’s cold and raining. Maybe not in floats, but we can run!
Come join your hares for a frolic in the mystical untouched land of Elmira. Bring all the tools you would need to devirginize her and show her a good time. I know the distance is far, so I have crash space if anyone needs.
On after: Harry’s Inn
HASH CASH: $5 or pay online via PayPal (email@example.com) or Venmo (@HCIH3).