Join your Cuntry Bumpkin tour guides, Porcelain Goddess and Dong of the Dead, through the fields and forests of Wild Varna! There’s nothing city-like about this romp, so dust off your sh*t-kickers, grab your flannel shirts and overalls, and don your straw hats!
This hash has everything you want — if what you want is shiggy trail, cold beer, beautiful vistas, muddy feet, and fall foliage. (Sorry, sex not guaranteed.)
When: Sunday October 14th, 1:69pm HST
Where: Porcelain Goddess’s shack in the cuntry (65 Mt Pleasant Road)
How to Fit In: Wear your cuntriest of cuntry clothes. Award given for best ‘Daisy Dukes’.
On-after: We’re lighting a bonfire in the side yard for weinie-eating, pumpkin-carving, and marshmallow roasting to follow the hash, so bring a dry change of clothes just in case! Rumor has it that GOOD BEER will be flowing!
The fine print:
**Hash cash: $5
**Dogs welcome; bring a leash.