IH3 Trail #441

Ithaca 441st Hash (by my count, don’t know if that’s right), 10/24/2004
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Accused: Little Oral Annie, Up Her Alley, Phil MeCrackin, Tequilla Bill, Spike, Butt Floss, Bitch Squealer, Rub My Klondike Bare, Hound Whore, Extra Testicle, Three Times A Weenie, Pussy Pong, Dances With Head, Toothy Lunker, Half Monty, Ball Wrinkle, and dogs (Parker, Hershey, Max, and Roxy).

On a damp and chilly (45°F) Sunday in late October, Pussy Pong and I (DWH) drove down Bald Hill Rd in Danby to Michigan Hollow for the hash, to find a Hound Whore, Up Her Alley (transplant from Philly), and Three Times A Weenie waiting around near the intersection with Station Rd, and soon to join us were Floss, LOA, and ET. Spike and BS soon arrived also, and it was starting to look like a hash.

After the usual chit-chat, hash cash, and whatever else, Hound Whore and Spike gave a brief chalk talk, and we were off. Just in time to follow us off were Klondike and Toothy. We quickly found that the trail involved a whole lot o’ shiggy and some bits of the Abbott Loop trail (or that’s what I think it was anyway!). After a few checks, it quickly became clear that our hares were deceitful, and true trail was difficult to find at times, and that through the mud and fallen leaves of autumn the ups and downs of trail in Ithaca would drive us nuts! But we did indeed find BEER NEAR in reasonable time, in a old and unkept cemetery — very Halloweenish if I do say. Joining us at that point was Half Monty and his trusty sidekick Hershey.

After some red dogs (beers, not pets), we took off again in search of trouble. Eventually we came down a steep hill, and crossed Bald Hill Rd, followed by — you guessed it — an uphill. Interestingly, at the base of this hill, Three Times A Weenie dropped his weenie! Ok, so it was only a penis pacifier that was part of the hashit he was carrying, but we still made him drink for that later.

During the rest of the trail, it seemed there were many murkey moments along trail, most notably between myself and Up Her Alley, and between BS and Monty. Pussy Pong also had a tremendous hash crash, which left her on her back and panting for a couple of minutes I’m told. Also funny, was a check that we came to where Spike imitated being a hare (he drank for this later), and insisted that we keep checking towards the left. So, we checked left and found a false. Then we checked really left and found a second false. Then we check just sorta left, and found a third false. Then we gave up and checked straight and found true trail, which was dubbed not left. …definitely disturbing.

After quite a while though and loads of shiggy, we found the famous ON-IN mark and ran down the hill to the cars, only to find multiple bobbits standing around, such as Ball Wrinkle, Phil MeCrackin, and Tequilla Bill. BW would have caught up on trail he claimed, but apparently the marks were too confusing and he gave up. Likely story.

Hound Whore drank for haring, Spike drank for imitating a hare. Monty, BW, LOA and Toothy drank for dog owners, Floss for FRBing, LOA for excessive politeness, Up Her Alley for being a newcummer, and some others for private party. Tequilla Bill, BW and Phil drank for bobbiting, cums-latelys drank, Pussy Pong drank for crashing, murky moments drank, BLEABs and BLABs drank, and Three Times A Weenie drank for losing his weenie. Then Three Times gave his weenie, and the rest of the hashit, to Bitch Squealer, and ET gave his Big Balls to Tequilla Bill, because he “liked” Bill so much. Then we adjourned for the day, and some continued the fun with pizza and beer at the Fall Creek House.

Thanks for a great hash Hound Whore! Can’t believe you did it all alone… maybe next time you should get that imitation hare Spike to help out for once, as we all know he “never” sets trail. Thanks guys!

Next hash will be courtesy of Harry Condom Jr, and last I heard she’s still looking for a co-hare. Someone want to volunteer?!

On-On,
-Dances With Head