IH3 Trail #407

Here is a short, un-official version (in an effort to take the load off Fanny, I mean Ball Wrinkle).

I arrived at the Hector land use area, which is just another name for a mosquito infested patch of forest with some federally funded trails, to find half a dozen wanks and miscreants hanging around drinking beer and trying to talk a couple of recreational civilians into joining the hash. The guys even had nicknames, but alas, we smelled too bad for them or something, so they declined our pleas and drove off into the sunset, to live happliy ever after. But that is a different story.

Present at the hash were Monty, Floss, LOA, Spike, ET, Harry, Releash Me, Tighty Whitey, Mr. Wrinkle and me, a few dogs and a little hamster type thing that ! barked like a dog and whose owners claimed was a dog, but really was an escaped experiment from one of Cornell’s labs.

The Hare’s were 1/2 Monty, ET, and Harry Condom Jr.

After a few beers mob mentality ensued and we decided to set off over the hills and through the woods and fields. About ten minutes into the hash Ball Wrinkle caught up to us with some new guy that he had recruited/abducted in the parking lot, apparently there was the mention of beer and the new guy said "sure" (he sounds like one of us already!).

We ran and ran and ran and eventually got to a blueberry patch, which no one bothered to venture into, and then ran some more. Much ado was made of the length of the trail, we had all expected a short and sweet Monty type trail with a little bit of walking then back to the on-in, but "NOooo", the hare had recruited Harry and ET to join him in trail setting, so we were in for the long haul. Somewhere along the way Spike stirred up a hornets nest and a! bunch o f us got stung by the evil little bastads, the group split up as a result, and half of us continued on, while the others (bee-allergic types) went back and found another way to the on-in.

Speaking of on-in, we made it, eventually, after muck pits, and mountains, and bees, and monsters, and, uh, okay…where we drank beers, did down downs and generally acted like the idiot hashers that we are. Spike drank for stirring up a hornets nest, the new guy drank for being new, Dances drank water for not being able to drink and for being a Bobbit, a few of us drank for participating in athletic type activies earlier in the day, I drank for my damn dog again ( that little shit is going to be the death of my liver!), everyone drank for something, but after having enough to drink myself I can’t rightly remember who exactly drank for what, sorry.

After we continued the party about ten feet away at a picnic table, where we ate some hot dogs and other chow, Monty preformed a cool circus act with a can of gasoline and some matches, and we generally had a good time. Even the virgin stuck around, cool!

Ball Wrinkle was elected to write the re-hash, but out of the kindness of my heart, and being bored at work, I decided to act as ghost writer and offer my un-official, non-sanctioned, version of events.

ON-ON to Nittany weekend!!!

-Lil’ Miss Muffet

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My notes:

Hares: 1/2 Monty, Extra Testical, Hairy Condom Jr.
Virgin: Brent
Guests: Tighty Whitey, Releash Me

Hashers:
Tequila Bill, Staffy Puller, Spike, Ball Wrinkle, Little Oral Annie, Butt, Floss, Li’l Miss Muff-It, Dances with Head, Puker, Hershey, Nigel, Selma

Note:
gasoline, cookout, Grolsch, butt dent, bees on trail, pond that few saw, singing at beer stop #2, 2 once hashers at the start

down downs:
comes lately – TB, Staffy Puller, Releash Me
bleab – Spike
blab – ?
bobbit – DWH

Awards:
hash crash – ? -> ET
Big balls award – Li’l Miss Muff-It -> Spike
Hash Shit – Spike -> Hairy Condom Jr.

–Ball Wrinkle