ReHash #399

Don’t you know it was the kind of day that makes you want to be alive. Warm sun and blue skies as far as the eye can see. As the news spread about the county, of the apparent end of winter in Ithaca, the Hashers made their way up to the north entrance of that state park with a cool (but impossible to spell) Indian name. There in the parking lot were Mud Man, Half Monty, ET, LOA, Shiggy Shiggy Gang Bang, Bitch Squealer, Ja Ja Twat, Dances With Head, Phil MaCrak’n, WT, Road Kill, LOA, Butt Floss, just Rob, and the new guy from Syracuse Justin. When the hares returned, (Little Miss Muffet and Ball Wrinkle), we drank a few beers and checked the trail out. I, for one, knew that whatever happened we were going to going up a major hill. Sure enough, after some pussy foot’n about in the park we stormed the hill. But…just before that we bumped into Hairy Condom Jr. who ran but to bestow some kisses on us….but alas so short a time… she had to make her way back to her job. So on-up we went with only the beauty of the view of the falls and the gorge to cool the pain in my left calf. Now our clever hares decided that we should pay tribute to the day that some important dead guy disappeared from a cave by hiding plastic colored eggs on trial. So at three points on trail we stopped to search for these colored buggers. Some were filled with candy, some with rocks, and still others were filled with fecal matter- oh deer! We reached the summit and no sooner began our decent, stopping only to admire the view. On the way down we scaled a dirt embankment (accelerating the erosion of that hill by about a thousand years) and we stopped for some beer. WT, who seemed no longer to be interested in the hares’ prizes for the most found eggs, gave up his stash to ET. ET, the entrepreneur that he is, quickly set up shop to barter away the newly found booty for some other goods and services. He soon hustled Bitch Squealer’s sports bra right off of her and shortly thereafter put it on himself. At the on-in I can’t recall who got punished for what because I was snookered before I even got there but I am certain that everyone drank some. What I do recall is this: Ball Wrinkle and Dances peeing on my newly ArmorAlled tires on my newly cleaned truck. Also I recall fashioning Bitch Squealer a replacement bra made not of cotton, but of duct tape. Next time, I’m making Ja Ja Twat some duck tape panties! It must be said that WT was smart to pawn off his eggs because the prizes for finding the most eggs all but sucked! After the on-in some folks went to Trumansburg for a drink at Camels. Did my numbers come up Monty, or are you holding out on me?