ReHash #285

ReHash 1/24/99

The Hashers looked a little groggy at the start of this week’s hash since the day began with a copius brunch (complete with Mimosas, Bloody Marys, and Tequila Sunrises!) at Mac’s house. Thanks to Oral B and Poopa Trooper for preparing the feast; and thanks to Hotter Legs for conducting a bogus charity fund drive to secure free food from local businesses! Could this be the beginnings of a political career?

Hares Mac and Hotter Legs set what appeared to be an auto-hash through the streets of Trumansburg; although eye witness reports from Jushad and Toothy state that the Hash was, indeed, set by foot. Projen’s K-9 hashers were mysteriously absent– hey Projen, where were the pooches?!. The hashers seemed to draw quite a bit of attention from curious neighborhood well-wishers as we passed noisily through the township. Then there was the elderly walking gentlemen in the yellow jacket who, having caught up with us at Ron&Johns Bar, received a thunderous round of applause from the hashers upon entering the tavern. He was always ON-ON!

Another Trumansburg resident– Trojan– also met up with us at the bar. Little did he know that moments before, several hashers had commandeered his hot tub. Of course, there was an attempted theft of clothing executed by Calvin Klimax when quibble grew to spat, to wrangle, then to brawl. The frenzied nude congregation struggled desperately to fetch the clothing snugly nestled deep in Calvin’s desperate grasp. As a result, Calvin ran the rest of the trail in soaking wet duds. However, Skull’s clothing did manage to wind up in one of Trojan’s trees. Fortunately, most of us were not present to witness him trying to get his clothes down.

The hashers sojourned for awhile at a playground with a really cool wooden jungle gym. One of the swings, shaped like an eagle, prompted Jamie to…well…stradle the mighty bird’s beak. And so, she was baptized. From this day forth, she shall be called "Spread Eagle!"

Once again, the hashers found themselves back at Mac’s for the On In. The broken-toed Jushad and the backwards-bra-wearing Oral B made sure there was beer to start; and Toothy (how DID she get those holes on her knees?) made sure there was beer to finish. Visiting hashers included Pouch from Syracuse and Space Man from Albany. Bobbits included Phil McCrackin and Vibrator (who is $1 richer today for her simulated strip tease). The Bloody Late Arriving Bastards were Bam Bam and Nape. Being the passenger who no-doubt caused the tardiness, Nape took the down down.

There were two virgins: Tim (Mad Dog?!), and a girl whose name I didn’t catch. Unfortunately, she was sidelined early due to an ankle injury. Always the gentleman hasher, Hot Lips gave her a ride to her car. Then he quickly rejoined the hash by screeching to a stop and parking on the curb in mid-trail. Get well soon from the Hash– and join us again!

In addition, Hungman did his William Tell impersonation by knocking an apple off the author’s head with a dart. Other down downs included: Ball Wrinkle, Road Kill, and Toothy for hash crashes; Hotter Legs for wearing bunny slippers at the On-In; Hotter Legs again along with Kai and "Spread Eagle" for short cutting and sabotage; Bam Bam for running without fenders and coming down with a case of splatter butt; Toothy and Leela for most seductive hashware; Mac for obsessive housekeeping; and Skull for violating the sanctity of a cemetery by being there (er…I mean by peeing there).

See you in a couple of weeks!

On-on!
Tequila Bill