ReHash #280

After following Calvin Klimax’s global positioning coordinates to locate the Cornell Dairy Bar this last Sunday, the Hashers were ready to embark on a venture under a radiant sky. Hares Spotted Dick and Cherry Patch– along with virgin hasher and co-hare Eliza– set a great trail that led Broken Pole to a soggy hash-crash. The crash was so soggy, in fact, that he needed to remove his pants at the hash-rest, which was located on a playground where small children tend to congregate. Humpback made sure the slide was in good working order– an especially brave task since he was wearing shorts.

After the rest, the hashers continued their bizarre journey through the campus, along the recreation way, past the Pheasant Farm (where, according to Calvin, there is extensive research being conducted on contact lenses for chickens). A second HR by the ancient ruins of Cornell gave happiness as the hashers dined on cookies and a charming Port wine. We ran down by the suspension bridge (with a false trail to the left discovered by Skull, who did NOT remove his pants at the playground!), trotted through the horse pasture, and trespassed over the golf course before winding up at the Biotech lounge for the On-In!

At the On-in, Capt. Weenie drank for being the Bloody-Late-Arriving-Bastard, Eric and Eliza were welcomed as virgins (by making them drink, of course). The shortcutters were abundant and included in their ranks: Nape (how’s that ankle?), Poopa Trooper, Rrrrralph, ProJen, Broken Pole, Phil McCrackin, and Calvin Klimax. All were encouraged to do down-downs by Bam-Bam.

In addition, No Toe drank for only coming once a year and for "shocking-the-dog". Oliver the Dog was the week’s only four-legged hasher!

Speaking of shocking-the-dog, two hashers did a down-down for their rental of "The British Anal Invasion," a four-star film that received two thumbs-up from Projen and Rrrrralph!

Ball Wrinkle entertained on his mouth organ with such hits as "Hog Calling Time in Nebraska". Bobbits included: Toothy, Bubbles, Weenie Rider, and Hung Man. Luckily, Hash Cash Pat and Jamie arrived for the earlier start time, after entering a state of denial last week that daylight savings time has indeed left us for awhile…

Since the author was guilty of not keeping an eye on the cherished Pink Torpedo of Love last week at the Crooked Board, he drank. And drank again did he, when it was discovered that the Torpedo has succumbed to safe relations (by being enshrouded with what looks alot like an empty bread bag). It was also discovered that Cherry Patch was the kidnapper of the Pink! This award was passed to a noble hasher that will make sure that it is enjoyed by all of the animal kingdom. Use it well, Road Kill!

In addition, The Hash Cup was awarded to Eliza for helping to set the hash on her virgin run; and the Horse’s Ass Award was awarded to Capt. Weenie– just for being Capt. Weenie. However, the Award was suspicously missing from the Capt.’s person upon his departure. Carelessness? Or burglary?!?!

Happy Thanksgiving! See you in a couple of weeks!

On-on!
Tequila Bill