ReHash #349

June 10th… It was definitely not a day for hashing. No wind, no rain or snow, and no mud. Instead, beautiful weather and awesome vistas blessed this week’s hash. There was a huge turnout as well (I lost count of how many hashers were thereafter about ten… I only have so many fingers). There were a number of virgins to boot. Unfortunately, this half-mind can’t remember all of them, so I’ll leave that to someone else to recall. After downing an icehouse or two (courtesy of ButtFloss), the group took off onto the trail. Our hares Hotlips and Just Heidi set the path down many a trail at Taughannok State Park, and once in a while straight through the underbrush to get jabbed by thorns and branches. Eventually we came out to a road, and then some misreading of the hash marks occurred, leading much of the group a few hundred yards in the wrong direction, before anyone realized that we were proceeding on the wrong trail.&! ! nbsp; After regaining the trail and passing through someone’s property, we went into a field full of crabgrass and hidden holes in the ground. There, we had our first hash rest… and to the disappointment of many… there was no beer to be found!

It was horrible, but we survived. Upon proceeding, there was again some misreading of the hash marks, and a psi-mark was mistaken for an X. After realizing the mistake, we were off… Jussad found some hunting platforms in the woods, which he used to scout out the land. Around that time one of the many dogs took out Hung Man, who had one hell of a hash crash. Soon, we came to another Hash rest on the sledding hill, where there was water, but once again, NO BEER!!! After catching our breath and ButtFloss showing us his floss (especially Rowdy Bush, up close, no less), we took off down the hill. On the way down, one of the many hidden holes in the ground caused Mr. Stiffy to stumble and f! ! all, earning him the klutz award. So then we reached the bottom, crawled through some bushes, and came to a drainage pipe which a stream passed through underneath some road.

The faint-hearted climbed over and crossed the road, but a group of brave souls crawled through. After that, the hashers got very strung out into small groups spread far apart, so it becomes difficult to know what the majority of the group was doing. But after many miles, Hot Lips and Just Heidi informed us that the slower hashers (myself included) could take a shortcut to catch up to the FRBs, who we soon saw crossing the stream under a bridge to meet us. From there, we struggled to the finish of the 4-1/2 mile (or so) hash, grabbed our maps and drove Hot Lip’s place for one hell of a bbq. A ton of awards were given out, and everyone celebrated Half Monty’s 29th birthday, for which he did a side-down, and received a beer-enema! Also, Just Rob was named for saying ! ! something about his “Hairy Itchy Vine” during the hash. So, that’s what we named him: HIV.

Thanks Hotlips and Just Heidi for a great hash! (did I miss anything?)

-Dances with Head