ReHash #347

Fellow Hashers who for what ever reason missed the glorious straw hash I will share my memories of lusty straw bails and beautiful beers at Country Cocks palatial estates. I strolled up the quaint country driveway at 11:30 hoping to see half of the bales unloaded , but it was not to be. It seems the driver new about hash time and so showed up a half hour late. There was some ten people milling around waiting for the someone to yell thar she blows" the white whale" I mean bale. I was hoping no one had seen me so I could hide till half the bales were unloaded but of course Hershey gave me away, he was looking for the hash dogs and found some six or so to form a hash pack. Releash me was there in her Mexican Sombero and nigel was completely naked, or so Hershey told me after a quick butt sniffing contest. Dancing with Head was already working on his third beer when I got there and couldn’t wait to start setting trail, until we explained a little more about a live hash and how if we caught up with any of the Hares they had to lose an article of clothing. Soon other hashers started arriving, the hasher formely known as Bad Girl showed up with her namesake Vern, just Scott ( hopefully I got his name right ) who was awarded the FRB award was there with his trophy ( Which we later serenaded with a hack saw melody) Sky Wacker show up believing he was helping out Bosnian peasant rebuilding there destroyed homes, we had to explain that in America some people actually choose to build there home out of straw bales, he did believe us until after consuming mass quantities of beers, he than started talking bostonian ( he was recently in Boston too) jibberish or was that the beer talking we couldn’t tell as the mouth of the beer and Skywackers mouth were never apart for more than a swallow. Sky Wacker than started collecting money from everyone present for what he called " Save the bales Fund ", it seem like the right thing to do he said.

We had a surprise visit from Hair down there (Eldar) and of course a third of the way through Balwrinkle and Toby came strutting in or at least Toby was strutting. Straw was blowing everwhere , many hashers were forced to drink beer to help wash down the straw.

C.C. and his lovely wife with hair the color of a whispy bale of straw provided food beverages and a volleyball net for all those in attendance. C.C. and his wife had about an equal number of non hashing friends there to help which made the unloading go pretty quick, about an hour in all. I think they need to get new friends thought because we could talk any of them in to hashig with us.

After the bales were piled up we all got on top of the straw for a group photo which of course turn in a visual sighting of the lunar persuasion. Hey, I mean straw, it is the weekend of the full moon. Fifteen minutes after the last bales were stacked who should come strolling in but Justsuad claiming he wanted to get here in time to help with the bales, Skywacker of course told him about the plight of bales in Bosnian and was trying to wrestle him to the ground to get his wallet with help from Dances with Head and Releash Me. Later in the hammock Releash Me was showing Justsuad how she tussled with bales of straw or at least thats what she told us they were doing, it sure look like a murky moment. After downing countless bottles of beer and ale our brave hares set up off to mark trail. We gave them 15 minute head start and than Sky and V.B. and H.D.T. took off in hot pursuit, the rest of just drank beer until we decided fifteen minutes was up twice. We than quickly pursued the hairs, you could tell it was a Full Moon weekend when Releash Me jump Toby and tried to have her way with him, but of course Toby was more interested in the other dogs butt than Releash Mes’ and escaped.

After another fifteen minutes we caught up with the first group of hounds , we told Sky &V.B. & H.D.T. , that since we caught up with them and it was a live hash they all had to take off an article of clothing or one of than had to take off three pieces of clothing. The Hasher formely known as Bad Girl was encouraged to give up her clothes to save us from looking at Sky and Hair Down there naked, she said hey if I was still Bad Girl I would do that . But now you can just bite me because I’m V.B. now.

It was just before we were going to bite V.B. that someone sighted one of the hares. The hounds took off baying at the moonless sky ( not you Wacker, I’m talking about the sky up above) and chased down a virgin Hare. You could smell the fear in the air , and tell by the look in Dancing with Head eyes that he was trapped. It seems that his co hare had tossed him to the wolves. He was lost with a bag of flour and not a clue as to where C.C. was or where he was. We took his short and left him with only his boxers and shirt, we than gave him a head start of about 100 feet. Releash me than ran him down and took his shirt and than we depants him. Releash me than put Dances on a leash and we preceed to find our way back to the On-In.

Since our hare was captured and lost we decided to find our own way home, and low and behold we found C.C. trail, right below where we captured Dances, I suspect C.C. watch the whole horrible capture and ran off worried about his own clothing.

Fast forward to the Circle where Dances with Head poured half a bag of Flour on C.C. while other hashers sprayed him with beers. We than drank to a number of other infraction and decide we should drink beer and play volleyball. A great time was had by all. Oh by the way Shiner , C.C. wants to know why you didn’t show up after promising you be there? Anyways thats’ my story and I’m sticking to it at least until next week when I expected you hashers to do the road trip to Seneca lake to Fish , drink beer, fish,drink beer, eat fish and drink beer. Full Moon hash on Saturday (pub Crawl in downtown Geneva , starts at 8 pm at Willey Js’) and a hash at 3 pm on Sunday. 1/2 Monty. ON-ON!!!

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Date: Sun, 6 May 2001 11:17:24 -0400 (EDT)

OK I know this is out of tradition to write TWO rehashes, but I’m without a computer and Monty beat me to it! So read my version if you’d like.

Babes, Ales and Bales, who could ask for anything more on a Saturday than hard labor and cool frosty drinks?

Many came to help CC and Mrs. CC out with their 140 bales of straw. Hashers will do anything for the promise of beer. I arrived to see Dances w/Head polishing of a frosty one and I knew I was in the right spot.

After avoiding the falling bales thrown by the "hey man" and stacking them high, the celebration began with food and beer. Hashers and non hashers alike kicked back and rested for the next exertion to come. Jushad joined us with a smile to see we were all done.

Conversation flowed like the beer. Sky Wacker, Vern’s B*tch and Hair Down There were deep in conversation about their "first time", but as Jushad recalls "if it wasn’t a dark, cold, lonely place for you, you truly are a strange man." Next I hear how S.W. wants to protect his ideas form getting stolen. Shall we assume he has a new "twist" on events? Alas, the time had come and our hares, CC and DWH took to the woods. HDT, VB, Jushad and SW just couldn’t wait and went off prematurely. (hummm) After a fair head start BW, Just Dave? Scott???, 1/2 Monty, and RM searched for flour and hares. After running into too many prickers we followed the trail to an X without seeing a circle first. It truly was a tricky trail. We eventually caught up to the premature bunch waiting at a circle for us to fulfill the 5 man rule. We searched and searched for trail, when we heard a faint and helpless "RU???!!" cry. It was our virgin hare! The hounds took off after DWH and caught him. After much celebration his shorts were surrendered. Off he went again. We were all shocked at the reckless abandon of CC from his virgin hare. Off again we went. DWH was a good sport for being caught 2 more times and was leashed and brought back to the ON-IN. CC was there already relaxing. When interviewed, CC exclaimed, "I heard you’re voices and thought F*ck DWH!", for which he was tarred and feathered with bear and flour. Down Downs were given to the hares, Hash Crash was given to RM, FRB stayed with Just _ . Comes lately was SW and HDT. CC drank again for throwing his virgin to the hounds. Jushad drank for proclaiming he had better nipples and weighed less than any girl there and VB got the new DFL award.

Volleyball was then pursued, but shortly for CC,SW and DWH were unmercifully defeated by the winning team of 1/2 M, HDT and RM.

Tune in next week when CC exclaims, "Yah, so?! I took the last beer."

ON-ON RM