IH3 Trail #731: Labiarynth!

Hares:
Tastes Like Tenth Grade
Dunga the Blumpkin King (Virgin Hare)

Hounds:
Dancing Fool
Just Paul
Thank You Come Again
Master Baster
Porcelain Goddess
Handy (formerly known as Just Jen)
Just Jenn
Cock Spree
Butt Floss
Flesh Flaps
Fertilize Her
Trust Me it Won’t Spread
Spike
Just Kate
Nurse TaKillYa
Brown Hole Delivery
Captain Smashballs
Ookie Cookie
Kickstand
The United Auto Twerker (Bobbit)

A note before we start: this is written by a FRB so things were missed. Please feel free to point them out.

So there we were at a Muggle’s house off of Elm Street Extension, looking forward to an aMAZEing trail set by Tasty the Gobblin’ King (see image 8) and her Wino-taur (Dunga; see image 3). Destructions were given, purple bubbles blown (with a warning to not let it get on our skin or clothes), and we left to find trail. We headed north towards the end of the non-public road and came upon a check. Trail went left into a field of goldenrod and other chest high grasses. Conveniently there were mowed paths, so we did not have to search too hard to find marks. A couple of “Y”s and a BC4 later, and we were on-on into the woods and out of the maze (or so we thought). A couple more “Y”s and another check put us back into the goldenrod.

Up ahead, the Wino-taur was spotted in the midst of a hash crash but before the pack could catch him they came upon another check and needed to wait for a fifth before continuing. When they did continue, they came upon a clearing with paths radiating in all directions. Apparently we weren’t supposed to see the Wino-taur yet, so I grabbed a PBR from him and continued on trail. This proved to be fortuitous as trail looped back to the same clearing and Spike was the lucky recipient of the first J-hook. Rather than retrace his path, he hashed smarter back down the first trail to find the DFL and was thus able to reward Pack n Play with a fruit punch wine cooler. The pack found an arrow that wasn’t present the first time through and went back into the woods where they finally found the first BN. I went down into the canyon to bring the beer back to overlook the stream. Along with the beer were a pair of red feathered wings that I got to wear for the remainder of trail.

Beers were drank, Baster climbed a tree, and the pack went to search for more trail. The FRBs were moving through the woods pretty quickly and eventually were stopped by another check. After the fifth arrived, they spread out down the likely paths when the Wino-taur jumped out laughing from behind a shrub and I was the recipient of the second wine cooler J-hook. Weaving backwards through the pack, I finally arrived at the end and presented Nurse with her prize (see image 2). Walking back to catch up with the rest of pack, we arrived in another circular clearing where everyone was milling about for no apparent reason. While standing around, Kickstand appeared out of the waving grasses wearing a r*cist shirt. After taking a group photo in case anyone got lost on the remainder of trail (see image 5), we got circle jerked right back to where we just were for a shot check. I don’t remember what the shots were, but they were apparently powerful because Captain
Smashballs climbed a nearby tree and tried to take a nap (see image 7). A human pyramid was also formed at this check with a strong base of Kickstand, Cock Spree, Baster, Dunga, and Brown Hole Delivery. Second level included Captain Smashballs, PG, Ookie, and Thank You, Cum Again. Third row  consisted of Pack n Play, Handy, and Just Jenn. Tasty jumped on Handy’s back to form the pinnacle of the pyramid. This is also where we started to notice the amazingness that was Spike’s shorts (see image 16). When asked for an explanation he said he was trying to be like Bowie.

Trail continued through the grass to the back of EcoVillage. We happened upon a solar powered sauna with another BN. Even though it was sitting right under our noses, it took quite some time to find our sacred drink – I think almost the entire pack had arrived before it was uncovered. Some Muggles came to chat us up. In one of the more questionable parenting decisions, the parents were going to head out and leave their 12-13 year old boys with us. Thankfully reason prevailed and the kids left, too. After taking a count of who was staying on-after for pizza, pack went back towards EcoVillage and found a small library (see image 11). Trail was On-In from here.

Circle was held. Accusations included (and I’m sure I’m missing some here because I can’t read Baster’s writing): Shitty trail/hares (Tasty, Dunga); Not being scared off from last hash (Just Kate); Missing hashes (Just Paul); Being awesome [or r*cism] (Kickstand, Nurse, Brownie, Handy, Fertilize Her); Ick-a-lush (Fertilize Her); new shoes (Fertilize Her); Bobbit (Twerk); Pretending to shit on trail (Dunga); technology on trail (Floss); anniversary (Thank You Cum Again, Smashballs, Trust Me, Fertilize Her); J-Hooks (see above); Finding the Bogglet of Lingering Stench (Smashballs); Birthday (Dunga – side/side [see image 14]); out of towners (Cock Spree, Flesh Flaps, Dancing Fool?). Just Jen was brought in for a naming. She was asked about giving blow jobs, her building skills, and some shitty question from PG that I can’t recall. Options included: Pillory Spank, something to do with Tim the Toolman Taylor, and some other unmemorable names before finally
deciding on “Handy.” She drank for being named (see image 12) and also for using the pool as instructed. Dancing Fool brought himself into circle to sing a new environmentally conscious song, which I’m just going to assume was in honor of EcoVillage (see photo 17). We said the Our Lager and then it was to the on-after for pizza.

Thanks Tasty and Dunga for setting a memorable trail.
Fertilize Her