A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
IH3 Trail #723: Grassroots Festical Rehash
Things you might not know —
1) Grassroots lasts from Thursday to Sunday. 4 stages. Music from all over the world. Happiness Parade. Hula hooping. Dancing. Drinking. It’s a veritable Hasher Wonderland. Like a hash weekend, but with more people.
2) The ONLY hash that has been ‘skipped’ by IH3 during all the years that I’ve hashed was a hash scheduled for Grassroots Sunday.
3) Yes, there should be a trail on Grassroots Sunday. No, trail should never be set by hashers who have partied at the festival for 4 days.
4) Grassroots time is about 30 minutes later than Hash Standard Time which is about 22 minutes later than the actual time.
Things you should know —
Hares: Just Jen setting her first trail with co-hare Porcelain Goddess who did nothing to help
Hounds: Smashballz, Flesh Flaps, returning out-of-towner Hot & Juicy, Ookie, Kickstand, Virgin Just Paula, Baster, Just Dana, Floss, and Twerk
No one remembered to take Hash Cash! If I forgot anyone, I’m sorry. I blame the drugs.
The pack left a little later than Hash Standard Time (see Thing #4 above). Running past tie-dye and campers, we headed into the wooded area near the festival grounds. Twisting and turning trails soon had us twisted and turned around. Even this co-hare got suckered in by some Rs. Trail eventually wandered out to the road, turned into toward some farm land, and HOLY SHIT is that a floating BN?!?
I have no idea who swam out to retrieve it, as I was still lost in the woods — but I was happy to drink from the cooler when I got there! After some swimming and drinking at our own private beach, we continued down the road and into private property that turned out to be Just Jen’s! New trail mark “SDR” had us stop, drop, and roll down a steep hill and right into a homemade Shot Wheel. That’s right, a bike wheel to spin and shots to drink! (Have I mentioned how handy Just Jen is?) 7-Eleven Thai Whiskey was the clear winner — whoever drank it was probably a loser.
The pack tried to leave the Shot Wheel but was distracted by a trampoline. No one broke their arms and only a few yards away, a 2nd BN! Whew, this trail is haaaaard.
From the BN into the river for a refreshing stroll in the gorge. Poor Ookie got his feet wet! We came upon an old kitchen sink and a surprising river concoction! Sorry virgins and out-of-towners!
What’s that? Naked people in the gorge? What a great place to stop for BN #3! We found ourselves in our own private whirlpool. I fought Kicky for a good spot and we all had a glorious swim. Floss didn’t even try to hit on the naked chick!
We reluctantly left our final BN and headed down the river to the On-In, hosted by friends of Just Jen, and located directly across from the festival. Just Jen and I drank for setting (or not setting as the case may be) a truly shitty trail. Virgin Paula was introduced to the hash and seemed to hold her own quite well. Out-of-towner Hot & Juicy drank for visiting us once again. We toasted our hosts for such a great spot to drink. We tossed around bad names for Just Jen, but none of us were sober enough to focus. We probably accused people of other things but our RA (who was an Electric Salamander btw) was starting to speak in tongues so the hash recited the benediction and went in peace to get a piece! Some of us wandered back into the festival to keep the party going!
What a fantastic Festical Hash! Every year the weekend is over way too soon. I say that next year someone NOT at the festival all weekend sets trail!