A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
Jack & Swill Wedding Hash #720
June 8th, 2014
Hare: Hot Lips (with a new horn to lead the hounds on)
Hounds: Bedside Pole Dancer, Brown Hole Delivery, Butt Floss, Came with a Fake Name, Climbin’ Uranus (from Holland), Country Cock, Flesh Flaps, Flesh Light, Golden Snowball, Head 2 Toe in Utero, Hot Smegma, Itty Bitty Cocker Titty, Kick Stand, Mr. Stiffy, Munch Box, Nurse TaKillYa, Oakus Pokus, One Trick Dick, Pack ‘n’ Play, Pocket Full of Lube, Shark Week, Smash Balls!, Spike, Staffy Puller, Tastes Like 10th Grade, The Rapist, The United Auto Twerker, Toothy Lunker, Unidentified Feathered Orifice, Utica Chub, Virgin Jen.
Guests of Honor: Master Baster & Porcelain Goddess
Quite a crowd gathered to honor Master Baster & Porcelain Goddess the weekend prior to their nuptials. Comes latelies and out of towners filled the field drinking cheap beer and wearing their finest. Oakus borrowed his mother’s dress, Brownie had on a lovely fuchsia gown, and Hot Lip’s floral print was to die for… We were given our haberdashery a beer can coozie that was inscribed… “To have and To hold and To keep your Beer Cold”.
Before the pack went out in search of what we knew would be a truly shitty trail set by Hot Lips a hash wedding was performed. Lovely wide brimmed blue hats were placed on the bride and groom who were instructed to wear them throughout trail and hashers were to find objects on trail to decorate the hats. Baster also received a ball & chain which he had to run with. Abrief ceremony was held complete with a sock bouquet which Bedside Pole Dancer caught. Perhaps this is why UFO volunteered to write the rehash, her gamophobia kicked in.
As trail began we immediately ran through poison ivy and then headed to water. As some hounds tried to keep their feet dry the Hare was too tricky and after a while all the hashers were wet. (Sounds exciting). Lovely trinkets were found for the hat, a used condom, bones, beer caps, just to name a few. It was determined that a tire was too big to fit on the hat, yet some still disagree. Beer nears were found, cliffs were climbed, and rock slides occurred but all made it back to the on in with not a dress ruined. Songs were sung, accusations were made, and beer was down downed. The Hare was punished for a truly shiggy trail. And rumors began about the impending weeding to happen next week, would the groom show up, would the bride show up, would the groom wear a dress, would there be enough beer?
On On till next time
UFO