IH3 Trail #463

July 31, 2005 Hash, Burnt Road/FL Nat’l Forest

Hares: "Mystery Hares" and Hare’s Bitch Butt Floss

Hashing: Dances With Head, Pussy Pong, Ball Wrinkle, Butt Floss, Country Cock, Staffy Puller, Cheesy Salty Balls, 3 times a weenie, Just Dio, Just Franco, Just Zoey and Just Alex, Spike and doggies Toby, Parker and Max

I turned onto Burnt Hill Road at about 3:30, certain to miss the start, but as I wound up the dirt road to the prescribed trailhead I found the above wandering around, belching, waiting, and wondering who the mystery hare would be. It was almost 4pm before we got around to Dances’ chalk-less talk, and Floss appeared from having dropped off the hares and goodies somewhere else in the forest.

So off we went, first to a back — check 15! That lead us eventually to the true, shiggy-laden trail through the woods. There was leisurely sauntering at this point rather that running as I got critiques from Floss and Franco on the new Willy Wonka movie, and eventually we came out on a road and there the ran began, this time downhill.

Several were heard to grumble (or maybe it was just BW) about the fact that this would mean an uphill at some point, but on we went and soon there was BEER!!! Virgin Just Dio had to head back to Town but Just Zoey and Just Alex bravely continued as we all went uphill, as the psychic BW predicted. This led to accusations that he was really the mystery hare, because we still hadn’t figured it out . . .

After going up, around, under and all over nature for about 5 more hours, I came upon front-runners Spike and 3xA weenie where the forest road came between 2 camp areas. To one side I glanced a couple teenagers huddled on a picnic table making out, but was preoccupied with watching Toby and Parker molest a non-hashing sunbather on the other side of the road. Why was Spike just standing there? He had spotted the hares and the next beer stop! Those weren’t face-sucking teenagers at all — it was LOA and Lil’ Miss Muffet, our mystery hare on visit from Colorado! They said they had been hiding in the bushes when we came to the back check (uh –huh . . . .) and just decided to skip the hills and wait for us, polishing off the beers in the meantime.

After the joyful reunion and rest it was back onto the trail for another 6 hours until we finally came to the On-In at a lean-to off the Interloken trail. We had lots of snacks and beers and down downs were awarded for lots of the usual things, many going to Lil’ Miss because we missed him so. He also taught us a very tricky new hash song that we eventually got the hang of. More memorable are the things people didn’t drink for — like Cheesy running around like a caveman with a charred club and rolling on the ground like a dog in horse poo. Or PP for being Circle Dominatrix, barking out demands for others to DRINK!!! (Often we were scared enough to follow her orders). Or Lil’Miss for trying to make people drink if they’d never seen a squirrel fall out of a tree (which no one obeyed). Eventually as the sun started to sink, Country Cock and I made our way back to the cars, each of us late for home, but the circle was wrapping up then . . . just another Ithaca hash. Great trail, mystery hares! — On –On, Staffy Puller