IH3 Trail #438

ANOTHER ITHACA HASH SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…..

It’s now Sunday, 9/12/04 and Tequila Bill and Staffy Puller are supposed to be setting trail in Shindaigan Hollow today. Alas, the email di-erections indicate that TB sprained his ankle while performing Olympic pummel horse routines on the bed while Staffy Puller lay beneath checking out his form. Apparently his “positioning” was off…… So, it will be Staffy Puller and Rowdy Bush (who’s she? We haven’t seen her cuteness at a hash in some time!) setting trail while TB makes sure the beer stays cold.

As we arrived at the start location….way, way past the normal Shindaigan Hollow start points….we did not see our hares. A normal thing for the Ithaca Hash because hares frequently don’t finish setting trail until it’s time to actually run it. So, what to do? Well, pull out a beer from the trunk of the car and start “loosening up”…of course! So we did. In assemblance were a smaller group than the last trail….no virgins…darn it! But, we eventually had ET, Harry Condom Jr, Pussy! Pong, Dances With Head, Toothy, Little Oral Annie, Just-Max, Just-Tala and yours truly, Butt Floss. Shortly, our hares, Staffy Puller, Rowdy Bush, and Tequila Bill showed up. We thought that they had just completed the trail. But, we quickly found out that trail had been finished so much earlier that they actually had time to go to the Crooked Board for some lunch! Man, what were we thinking? They should have drank for that!!

Eventually, after a superb chalk-talk, we were off…..on across the stream (via a bridge that Just-Max didn’t care much for) and on up a hill. I could hear Toothy, HCJ, PP, and LOA yelling ON-ON further up but, they didn’t seem to be getting further away. Why? OH! That’s why! Lousy damned Back Check! And, it was only the first of many for the day. It appears that our hares like back checks. And, they couldn’t count either! Oh well, on back down the trail….. Max did much better going across the bridge this time. Now where? Ah, looks like the trail goes right down the road…and then……WAY up the hill on the other side! DWH and I stayed a bit away from the rest for fear of another BC. Also, he confided that he actually new where the one and only Beer Near was and that we were short cutting. So, what did I do? Follow him and go for the beer? Well, any sane hasher certainly would have. But no, I had to cut through some major shaggy and catch up to the pack. What a Dumb Ass! Well, we made it to the top of the hill….after a number of additional false trails. Damn, these hares are ruthless! Next check…..a “wonderful” view of what today’s youth thinks of our State Forests…..beer cans and bottles strewn all over the place!!!! A perfectly good camping place totally trashed by @#$%$^#$%#%#$% kids!!!! I, for one, would be willing to go back out there with a group to clean up the mess left by others. Hashers already cause enough problems for ourselves with Anthrax, I mean flour, we don’t need to get hassled by Park Rangers for drinking beer in the woods and being blamed for others’ messes. OK, enough soapboxing…..on with the trail. And, where did it go from here?

Right on down the road to the “normal” hash start location where we found Tequila Bill, Dances With Head (naturally) and BEER!!!! Woo Hoo! Man was I thirsty! After quaffing our thirst…and getting tired of swatting bugs…we headed out…or should I say DOWN? Yup, the trail led us down to the stream and back up the hill on the other side. But not after first going along the stream for quite a ways. Given that I still had a beer in tow, I was pretty much at the back of the pack dreaming of a Murky Moment with with ei! ther ET or our sweeping hare, Rowdy Bush. The latter being preferred. When, all of a sudden….whoosh!….Hershey goes whizzing by me! Where the hell did he come from? Well, as it turns out, 1/2 Monty and Hershey showed up shortly after we left the Hash Rest and ended up finishing the trail with us. Once we made it to the top of this hill, we found a “T and E” split. Well, never to let a hare’s good efforts go to waste, ET and I headed on down the steep grade and into the stream which was they “Easy” trail. Toothy was right behind us. Hmmm….another chance at a Murky Moment? Nope. Just some fun in the water….

Once we made it out of the stream and back on the trail that the “Tough” folks followed, we found ourselves at the On-In….a newly constructed lean-to. Apparently the old one had been crushed by a falling tree. There were lots of good munchies and BEER! DWH ran the circle and lots of folks drank. Our hares drank frequently this day for all of their wicked ways on trail. Dog owners drank. TB drank for being the only one there WITH his mug. The rest of us professed prof! usely that OUR mugs were back at the car. Yeah, right! Ha! Others drank for what I don’t recall…..help me out here folks…..and circle was eventually closed. But wait….not before Harry Condom Jr got to do an Up-Up for being the latest Ithaca Hasher to join the Dirty Thirty club!!!! Rowdy Bush….I believe that you are next….wink….wink.

As the light began to fade, we picked up ALL of our containers and messes…..not like those rotten little bastards at the other camp sight….and headed back towards the cars. HEAD!?….who said HEAD?……..

On-Out,

Floss

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Thanks for the great rehash Floss.

I just had a little to add about last Sunday’s hash. I wanted to stress how most excellant Staffy Puller’s virgin trail was. It was a very fun trail even though the hares really could not count. Thanks for the shitty trail Rowdy Bush and Staffy.

Also Butt Floss did forget to mention another important down-down. All those with meat had to drink as this was one of the few, if not the only other hash,(in our limited hasher memory) with more dames than dudes in attendance. Harry needed a little explaniation on that one and drank for that too, I think.
Toothy