IH3 Trail #424

Once upon a time (like yesterday), in a warm (by Ithaca standards) and sunny land (like Danby), the Ithaca Hash House Harriers gathered together for the 424th Ithaca Hash (fanfare, fanfare, etc.).

All (well, most) of the hash regulars were there, including Dances, Monte (and that dog), Li’l Miss (and the dog that all other dogs seem to want to mount), Hot Lips, Rowdy, LOA (who came unaccompanied because Floss decided he had better things to do; pfft… his daughter’s giving birth; what kind of an excuse is that for missing a hash), and Spike. There were long lost appearances from Road Kill, Tequila, Staffy, Women There, and Captain Slimy, and a very long lost appearance from Over Easy. And, of course, there were the virgins: Just Matt (with his frisbee) and Just Chandra’s sister (Just Sister; she actually had a fairly common name spelled in a fairly uncommon way, so i can’t remember it right now).

Hare Phil McCrackin showed up, and the hash began…

And off the hashers went, charging boldly (in a lemming sort of way) up the hill into the distance. On and on they went: past the first mark, past the second mark, past the false, way past the false, past the intersection, past all reason and into the distance.

Then Ball Wrinkle showed up with two dogs, had a good laugh with the hare, and all the hashers returned to see if they could find the real trail.

So off they started, through the woods on the Finger Lakes Trail. Well… the hare swore that there were marks there when he set the trail (the other hashers just swore). And so, our faithful hashers went… there was snow and more snow. There was down hill and up hill. There was a trail somewhere, but they couldn’t find it, so they just followed the hare for a bit.

Then there was beer. Yeah… beer. Beer in a large white van that could have belonged to a soccor mom. But, instead, it belonged to Hare Vibrator, the keeper of hash-rest beer.

And there was drinking and merriment, and the throwing of frisbee for all dogs present.

And then the hashers were off again. Across fields and fields again. Through shiggy and snow. And some more snow with some shiggy thrown in. Oh yeah, and then there were the rose bushes and other flesh scarring sharp nasty fun things. An then we came to this road. It was a hash rest. Hershey celebrated this hash rest with a volumous watery vomit. And fun was had by all.

And then there was running. And there was more snow, more shiggy, and a thinly frozen pond. And then there was another road. The hare tried really hard to tell the hash to run down the road, following the obvious hash marks. Of course, the hash seemed to be aware that the small house only a few metres away was the location of the On In, so there really was no reason to run any further.

And so the On In commenced with cornbread and chili. The hares, Vibrator and Phil McCrackin, were honoured, the virgins were honoured. The BEAB was Spike, the BLAB was Ball Wrinkle. The virgin Just Matt volunteered to drink for participating in the BEAB, and later volunteered to accuse himself of bleeding to much on trail. LOA, BW, McCrackin, Monte, and Li’l Miss drank for their dogs, while the dogs themselves took turns riding Li’l Miss’s poofta hound. Road Kill was accused of something else, and Slimy, Women There, and Over Easy were accused of being comes latelies. Rowdy must have gotten accused of something, because we all know Rowdy. Just Chandra and Just Andrew, on the other hand, sat quietly in the corner with their virgin, probably plotting something.

And those are the facts as i vaguely recall…

Spike