IH3 Trail #422

The Day That Monty Sprinted
by Muffet

Feb 2, 2004….hash #???… uh, Spike? where the hell is Spike when you need him?
Well, whatever number it was, it was one more than the last one two weeks ago and one less than the next one and it was on a dreary Sunday in February that we all met at the fine drinking facility called the Chanticleer, fine because I said so and we being me (Muffet) Dances, Pong, Mr. Wrinkle (of the ball variety), Spike, ET, point five Monty, and Grande Chucha, btw, what the fuck is a chucha anyways because it sounds better as a Chico Chucha and he and Dancing Head were our hares and the amount of brilliant forthought and effort that they put into this day’s hash will be evident after reading my Pulizter Prize winning re-hash, which is why he should be called Chico and not Grande!

whew, that was a pretty long run on sentance, let’s see if I can do it again.

After a couple of pitchers of GOOD BEER (see what you come’s lately’s missed???) our band of miscreants set off accross the commons where Puker Wrinkle promptly set not one, not four, but THREE steaming examples of why dogs are not allowed on the commons…good boy puker, good boy…when BW reads you your bed time story tonight and has you tucked in you can rest assured that all the dogs in the area are proud of you for your defiance towards the evil dog hating humans in Ithaca!

After running away from the commons we came to a check at the corner of Seneca and whatever that other street is called, the one accross from Moosewood. I suggested a beer stop at the elitist vegetarian greasy diner, but we ran right passed it, oh well, maybe another time. We ran UP UP UP Buffalo, took a left on Stewart and ran passed the Chappy, with a few longful stares in the darkened, closed-for-business establishment.

Better though that it was closed, I’m still having nightmares about the last lunatic stalker-type girl that I picked up in that place. What mirth and joy everyone would have had (at my expense) had we showed up when the crazy lady was there! So we ran and we ran and we ran some more untill I didn’t think we could run any longer, point five Monty suggested we have a beer stop at a convinience store, but the owner pre-empted that by barreling out the door brandishing a brookstick in one hand and a rolled up newspaper in the other and stating emphatically that his was NOT a drinking establishment. Down the hill we ran, with our tails behind our legs, until…like a light at the end of a tunnel, like a beacon of hope and justice in an otherwise bleak and dreary Ithaca Sunday in February…we saw it…The Fall Creek House!!!! We stampeded like a gang of pilgrims on the Hajj (luckily no one was trampled). A few more pitchers of GOOD BEER and we headed back out the door. Some of us took off down by the high school where Puker left a very special present for the students arriving the next day…good boy Puker, good doggie!!!



Okay so this damn thing is getting long…suffice to say, we ran around the ‘burbs of Ithaca for about 1/2 an hour more, whining and crying about the hash being too long, about Republicans, about the weather…etc., until I witnessed something I don’t think I’ve ever seen in my life and probably will never see again…
get this…
are you ready?
We were on Seneca, going west, when O’Leary’s came into plain view on the horizon…the general chatter took on a more hopeful tone and the pack picked up speed untill one true hasher broke out of the pack and SPRINTED the last 100 ft to the front steps…
big deal you say, right? A hasher sprinting to a beer stop? Well this was no ordinary, run of the mill, breaking-out-of-the-pack spinter…it was 1/2 Monty!
I was there, I saw it and I will live to tell future generations of this hash history in the making!

Well, our dumb-ass hares failed to check the schedule at O’Learys and the place turned out to be closed, so you can bet your ass that Monty will probably never sprint to a beer stop again…he is now too emotionally tramautized…
So we ran back to the on-in at the Chanty…
Every one drank for something, Monty brought out some old musical instruments that we played around with, and a good time was had by all!

Now don’t you wish YOU had come?

On-Out till the next hash
your humble hasher
Lil’ Miss Muffet