IH3 Trail #419

Holiday Re-hash @ Dances

12/21/03

Holiday HASH at Dances with Head’s apartment. The start time was 2:00 PM. I figured since I would be driving in from Owego, over Buffalo Hill to Hammond Hill into Dryden that I should play it safe and leave early since I would be transporting my GRILL. A large grill, which provided overkill for the number of hashers in attendance. Us few representatives were Dances, Spike, Jar Jar (Bobbitt), Bitch Squealer, Ball Wrinkle (Toby & Parker), and myself (Red Crap). I arrived at ten of two, which I did not mind being the Early Arriving Bastard. In fact it gave me time to unload the grill and ignite the charcoal. Yes, in the severe cold this took some time, in fact we completed trail, and the coals were still not fully ashed over.

Anyway, as we stood in the cold, sunny outside, we watched Jar Jar and Bitch Squealer shivering a tremendous amount. Luckily, BW brought about a half gallon of Eggnog to help keep us all warm. After finishing the eggnog, and seeing no other hashers in site, Dances called the Chalk talk to order. A simple talk, there are some Falses, Circles mean Checks, R means reverse and "B" means "BEER". In fact on the way to Dances, BW saw a "B"ee, Dances replied in this time of year?

After the chalk talk we were off, the flour and Kool-aid was easily spotted which led us to our first false. Thinking we were back on trail heading in a different direction, false number two. Dances then took the, humorous, honor of pointing us in the proper direction. From the start I thought I would be in for a tough trail, as we had to break through the foot of snow that blanketed the grounds between the apartments complex. After exiting the apartments driveway, trail led us down along the creek bed, which was covered the several deer tracks. As we trenched our way through the deepened snow and swale grass we could see Dances ahead standing on a bridge watching a muskrat swimming in the waters below. The Bridge was to be the location of the beer check, however, the snow banks did not provide enough parking as Dances transported the keg in his vehicle, so he moved the location to a self-storage unit parking lot. This would be our first BEER check, which as Dances had stated in his emails… good beer, a left over Keg of Yuegling Lager from PP & Dances party the weekend before. Even though it was the remaining beer in the keg, Dances took great care of the keg during its stay at PP’s. He made sure it was fully pumped, 100 pumps before removing the tap at the end of the night, he even checked the quality of the remains to be sure we would consume the almost flattened beverage. After checking out the gray spot on Parkers nose, from a bite Toby gave him during his earlier puppy days, we stood around chatting and drinking. As we left the beer check our Front Running Bastard, Spike, took off running, Bitch Squealer was keeping up just to stay warm. BW was dragged by T & P, I followed in my clod-hopping boots, which slowed my amazing speed. Trail led us to our second false of the day, as we returned, there was Dances at the original Beer Check near the Bridge, for our second Beer Check. This time Dances was able to find parking, he literally pulled his car into the snow bank, which made removing the keg from the hatchback possible and the keg colder. With the keg out of the car this provided BS room too curl up in the trunk with the kegs blanket to help her stay warm. We drank roadside making it look like we were changing a tire, even though no one was doing any work. We discussed some old sitcoms; Knight Rider, Air Wolf, and MacGyver, we also thought about the apparel that criminals should be wearing Blaze Orange or the traditional Black and White stripes. Well enough chat, beer and cold, back on trail. Everyone ran again as I walked. Dances offered me a ride, I gladly accepted, at the stop sign BW, wanted pictures,

so he talked me out of the car, and made me finish the trail on foot. Dances drove off and brought the keg inside, he also checked the grill and add a little stimulate to help produce more heat. After we moved the grill from the parking lot to the entrance of Dances apartment. I put on three packages of Venison spiedies.

These were consumed rapidly. JarJar the Bobbitt brought "prime" veggie burgers for her and BS. She made sure they did not come close to the fresh harvest of venison on the opposite side of the grill. As the food was cooking we circled for down-downs. We all drank for something, Dogs, FRB, EAB, Bobbiting, Cums lately, etc.

All in all it was a great way to get outside and relax from the stress of holiday shopping and making plans for the stresses that are still to come. Happy Holidays to ALL.

Red Crap