ReHash #330

While questionable right up until hash-time, Sunday’s weather held out and made for a great Hash. Hares Spike and Triple Nipple set a formidable trail through Monkey Run. Apparently the sub-ninety degree weather was a little too much for California native Triple Nipple who headed home for tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. (But thanks for setting– it was a super trail!)

Half Monty’s and ReLeash Me’s dogs Hershey and Nigel– respectively– were dying to get on trail. So off we went. It wasn’t long into the trail that Tequila Bill and Half Monty discovered a bunch of bee hives in a small field. Aghast, Tequila watched as Half Monty knocked on top of the bee hive to illustrate how docile bees can be in the cold weather. The cartoon-like bee-arrow never materialized, thankfully, and the Hashers were back on trail.

At one point the trail crossed Fall Creek and the Hashers were forced to either wade across or negotiate the old RR trestle. It was at this point that we encountered a strange young fellow that helped us sniff trail for awhile, then mysteriously disappeared near the cleanser graveyard. Legend has it that a young runner– similar in appearance and stature– vanished in those very woods in the early 1940s. Perhaps it was only his jovial apparition that accompanied us through Monkey Run on this day.

A little too damp to hang outside, the ON IN came to be at Spike’s crib. We sat in a hatless circle and honored virgin Lawrence who almost lost his contact lens on trail. Bobbits Skull and Mr. Stiffy joined us; but Stiffy was excused from being a true bobbit because he just finished his first marathon in Steamtown. Accolades!

Honeycomb did a down-down for committing hash-craaaash; then proceeded to do a spit-take on Spike’s carpet. Luckily it was only water and– saints be praised– it did not come out her nose. ReLeash me drank for trying to sell a customer (me) a piece of fish butt at W*gmans.

Unfortunately, Spike lost a leg at the Hash. Fortunately, it was only a doll’s leg which he was coveting as a special achievement award. If anyone sees a missing doll leg– or a legless doll for that matter– please report it to the nearest Hasbro branch office immediately.

Trench Wench had to cut off the ON IN in order to meet her future in-laws. She should be complimented on resisting the urge to show up at dinner reeking of stale Pabst Blue Ribbon. This relationship is going places!

Skull did a PBR shotgun but unfortunately his beer ejaculated prematurely because the whole wasn’t big enough. Who hasn’t been there– eh’ guys?! {Nudge-nudge}

We also discussed the new Hash Hotline (DUST-4-JR). Half Monty reminded us that the little saying actually represents numbers on the telephone so it can be easily remembered. Thanks Monty.

See you in a couple of weeks! Bring a virgin!

On-on!
Tequila Bill