ReHash #293

Ressurection (Res Erection) Rehash

It was another Wet ‘n Wild day for the Ithaca Hash House Harriers as Mighty Blow, Batgirl, and Rebecca (hash name???) laid their scented trail at a familiar, but unfamiliar, hash scene on Freese Rd and 366. A simple, happy May 1st, a day of sunshine and flowers became a day of deflowering, passionate spits of wetness from the heavens, and shiggy. Formerly known as the Ressurection hash, I dub it the Res Erection hash (Residual Erection hash) because just when you think you’re done and beer is near, you still have a long, long way to go (miles if not days or so it seems until you reach IT, sweet sweet BEER). Small Sack and I arrived a little after three, but were not the first (which we were wrongly accused) and we were greeted by Becky and her virgin harem (Hazel and Oleander???). We were followed by the woman who when asked who made her cum, she admitted she had done it herself. This comment inspired an amazed and enchanted OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO from the peanut gallery. Skull was incharge of bringing the PROTECTION in the form of an old umbrella he hand made from what appeared to be a colorful array of used condoms and broken bicycle tire spokes. Its handle was in the design of a wooden duck in which the tail could easily be used to induce unknown sexual pleasures. Toothy was awarded this beautiful trophy dedicated in honor of Schultzie. Calvin Climax arrived with a cramp in his right leg from the night before when he had been trying to start a dirt bike at Vibe and Phil’s, which couldn’t be started due to damaged fuel cables. This was fortunate as Calvin has had many a mishap with this particular dirt bike. The rest of the hashers followed including Bubbles wearing a white spandex slip, Snuggle Bunny as cute as ever, Testicle Icerider and JSUAD still drunk from the night before, JSUAD made his father Earl SR. cum (and the hash sang incest is best), Phil McCrackin, and ButtFloss. Ball Wrinkle was late as usual and caught up to the rest of the hash. His excuse, his wife was in menses and needed servicing.

And then the hashers were off sniffing for the trail. Small Sack with his supieror sniffer broke wind…no caught wind of the trail heading up the hill, leading into the woods. And ON-ON into the woods we all followed. Up and down and up and down hills, through wet and warm rivers and streams, backtracking from back checks, we scaled the forested obstacle course. The hasher were rewarded with a hash rest that included German chocolate treats. While the rest of us rested our wearied bodies, JSUAD and Testicle Icerider emerged from the bushes pulling up there pants in quite the MURKY MOMENT. From the hash rest, the trail led the hashers across the river, traversing the water using a tree bridge where we all got to try our gymnastic skills. Most failed and ended up with soggy pants. The first to soil his pants was JSUAD so he was awarded a pacifier neckless and a DOWN-DOWN for his self sacrifice. The trail seemed to continue forever and the hashers were led into chanting, "more beer, more beer, more beer, more beer, more beer, more beer, more Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrr". Then all of a sudden Toothy and Calvin were no where to be found, but to everyones excitement reappeared with BEER and the ON-IN commenced at the wooded hash spot I will name Small Sack Baptismal Hall. To this affect, Small Sack was re-baptised as he did his Down-down in remebrance of the fateful day he was annointed Sack of Smallness. Toothy awarded Calvin the Tool Award as he was the first she had used her new found Tool on. The two aforementioned drank for their Murky Moment where they disappeared together. JSUAD’s comment was that if it was anyone but Calvin he would have worried, but as he commented, "since you can’t send a boy to do a man’s job" he had no qualms about the situation. Bubbles drank for allowing his white spandex slip to show and was awarded the Girly Man Award by Snuggle Bunny. Butt Floss was awarded the Hash Shit and fortunately we didn’t have to experience the FLOSS again. Much singing and rejoicing continued into the night and ON-IN to the Chapter House.

ON-ON

See you Sunday at Hammond Hill, your Eagle eyed Spread Eagle