IH3 Trail #650 — Blimey Limey

From the beginning, the trail was destined to fail.  Arrow?  That was
a right turn arrow?blasphemy!  Descending into the underbrush quickly,
brambles tearing at our tender flesh (okay, so I should have worn
pants), the trail quickly took a turn into the swamp.
Just Morgan, your new shoes will quickly lose their luster!

Spike, Just Jeff and I, humble Pabst Smear, took the lead.  Hunting
for the elusive beer we knew must be close…. Oh how we were
mistaken.  We ran through long trails and swamp.  Crossing unmarked
shiggy with not an ounce of flour to be seen… Though plenty of white
lichen and bird droppings to confuse us.  Up and down hills, over
rivers and swamps, on and off trail.   We were thirsty. The pack was
behind us.   We had to find beer!

Boob check! Perhaps we were close.  However, the guys took this one
for the pack… Lame.    Nurse, your sister disappoints.

Finally, we crest a ridge and see the path descend, Floss leading the
way.  He has been here before… The beer was always hidden close!
The path opens to a field… And another boob check.  Floss has the
idea to moon the virgin Just Morgan.  So of course we all oblige.  So
much hair.

The pack spreads out. But Floss knows the way.  Meta-hashing?  We live
in a post modern age of hashing.  Over another hill, with a great view
of a trailer park. Over the river and through the woods to a beer
check we go!  It has been so long since beer has passed these lips.
We drink like hungry wolves. Plus fudge rounds. Yay!

I’m told now to remember the trail.  That would have helped earlier, ya know.

Vista Look trail lies ahead.  It seems too easy. It is, of course.
The first check, the virgins find the false trail as the pack learns
that following the hares is a smarter course so they stick close by.
Great view of the pond on the one HV this trail. Quickly we descend
back into the forest and Spike and I, Pabst, take opposite paths. For
once, I have chosen wisely. Through brambles and on boardwalks, we
cross through the trail. It seems easier now… Beer fueling our
senses. Spike and Just Jeff take the lead and miss a hash mark…
Avoiding the back check. Kickstand is disappointed… Which leads to
rejoicing from us all!  Over the ridge to another beer check.
Checking back, we find the final trail.  We are almost back… Rivers
and swamps galore.

The final check… Each trail already marked is false. Only one way to
go… Up.  Of course, everyone else already is saying how the cars are
right there.  No more mystery!

On in.

Circle.  Okay none of us know any of Floss’ songs.  Disorganized. But
Nurse and Male Bait each drink out of virgin Morgans brand new
shoes… Complete with custom orthotics!  Now soaked with beer.

Two side-sides for Nurses birthday. Head tastes sweet vengeance. After
four FRBs, three hares, two virgins and one DFL… We finally get
tired of trying to sing and every song is just down down down down
down.

’twas a shitty trail, every last mud soaked, chunky shoed drop.