IH3 Trail #544 – Beerfest!

There I was….sound asleep Saturday morning….visions of BEER laden harrierettes dancing in my head….on my bed….

The damned phone put an end to that!!!!

It was Just Delana….one of the hares for the day’s hash.

“You HAVE to park you car where the hash is going to end so that I can put my clothes in it for the BEER Festival”

Being one of the YHS contingent….how could I say no to her????

“OK, what time do you want me there?….WHAT!!!???  Holy shit!  I have to get my ass moving!!!”

And so the day of craziness began……………

I had to get out of bed….to get to the END of the hash…to get a ride to the BEGINNING of the hash…to do the hash….then leave the circle in order to go to Chris and Dorothy’s wedding reception…to leave that and get back to the BEER Festival…to go to dinner and continue PG’s birthday celebration weekend….to………….Oh F*ck…and then there’s that whole take care of Phoenix bit…..

Yup….so much for “visions of BEER laden harrierettes dancing in my head….on my bed….”

Up I got….morning wood shriveled away with the thoughts of this very busy day laid out before me…………….

And………..so this re-hash begins.  Are you still with me????

As promised, Just Delana picked me up at the end of trail and dragged my hung-over ass to the start in the parking lot behind Gateway Plaza in Ithaca…just up the street from Ithaca Commons.  As I get out of the car….Shank-n-Bitch from Flour City cums running over to me…..to give me the money bag for hash cash.  ????  WTF?  “Spike said to give this to you because he had to go home…..to retrieve his BEER Festival ticket.”  Dumb Ass!  He should drink for that!!!!

So, who was there????
Not many from IH3 as it turns out……..

Hares: Just Delana and Master Baster
Visitors from Flour City: Shake-n-Bitch and Muther Cummer
Virgins: Just Mike from Buffalo…Baster made him cum
Just Bridgette and Just Brianne…twin nurses from Groton that made eachother cum…..OH!  There go those visions in my head again!!!!  HEAD!!!! Who said HEAD????……
Spike eventually showed back up…
And then….yours truly Butt Floss

Was that it???  Two Ithaca hashers….a couple of visitors….and a handful of virgins???  Yup!  And the rest of you should be ashamed for missing out on such a fun day!

As you may recall…this was to be a LIVE HARE trail…..unusual for Ithaca….

After a quick chalk talk….the hares were off….kind of like scared rabbits!!!!  You could see the fear in Just Delana’s eyes…..fear that she would be caught….and de-pantsed!!!!

After ample time….maybe 5 minutes…..the hounds were off……like a heard of Turtles!!!! We decided to conserve our energy for the BEER Festival and to chat with the virgins about what hashing is….

The trail led UP East State street….naturally…..but wait…nope!  First of many found falses for the day.

True trail took us down the street…around the library…past the police station….STUPID HARE….there was FLOUR right in front of the police station door.  SHIT!  Run by there quickly!  :O)

On we went….up and around and eventually across the foot bridge back towards State Street….with no BEER in sight yet!!!!

A few falses later and the FRB…umm….that was Floss for some odd reason….cums across a civilian sweeping up FLOUR in front of his steps.  Hmmm….what was that?….Just a mark???  But…..wait….there were no more marks beyond it!  Crap!  Back to the swept marks and the civilian to see what it was.  Rats…he was gone now!  Thank goodness for the trained eye of Muther Cummer.  He determined that it used to read “BC”!!!  But nothing more.  So…we start searching back…..god knows how many marks….and MC actually found true trail leading us up through some treacherous terrain where Floss finally saw….”THE LIGHT!!!”.  Yup….a discarded florescent bulb…one of many treasures to be found that day as it turns out….

On up through College Town and eventually to the 5 corners area.  Heading down Dryden Rd form the check Floss noticed a odd marking across the street that led up the stairs towards the East Hill RecWay….and also saw a mark farther down Dryden Rd at the Hoy Rd intersection.  Rotten hares….he thought….that’s a Back Check down at Hoy Rd leading right back to here.  Sure enough…he spotted flour heading up the stairs and was off!…..Only to discover much farther on that there was a BC 10 at Maple Ave.  Crap…..out-fooled by the hares!

Sure enough…TRUE trail was actually down at that mark at Hoy Rd.  Stupid hounds….NEVER follow Floss!

Eventually the trail led us up UNDERNEATH the stadium….through some very dark passages….  Where were those hot virgin nurses when you need them?????….Out of the darkness we went…..to find our hares waiting for us!…and….the glorious BN sign!!!!  Praise the Hash Gods!!!

And then….our hares were off again………

Follow them quickly and depants them?  HELL NO!!!  Stay and consume the delectable gifts they left behind!!!

And we did……..

Then…we were off…through the top-side of the stadium where a football game was happening.  How boring!  Hashing is MUCH more fun!

On through campus we went where Floss found his next two treasures of the day….

A sign reading “No Entry – Deliveries Only”…which when folded in half made for an interesting “suggestion” between the legs of Virgin Brianne….

Then….a BROOM on the sidewalk.  Thinking quickly….Floss tossed it at Shake-n-Bitch and told her to enjoy her new car!  Snicker!  Oh payback will surely be a bitch…no pun intended…or…maybe it is….

Down to Beebe lake we went…across the dam…and then down along the gorge to the other foot bridge.  Jesus…I thought this was going to be a short hash so that we could get to the festival and REALLY start drinking…..

Down Gun Hill….around the high school….and over the tracks……..and……….ON-