6/7/15: Trail #756
POWER OF THE PUSSY REHASH!
Tastes Like 10th Grade
Crimes Against Huge Mammaries
Just Katie with Log Gobbler the wonder pooch
Head to Toe In Utero
Thank You Puke Again
Could we just have a hash where nothing exciting happens? These rehashes are turning into epics! So much awesomeness happened and now my fingers are going to be sore. Wait. What?
So for starters, this was LayzHer Pussy’s first lay and she totally rocked it. The three hares were decked out stem to stern in fabulous pussy gear and handed out laminated Power of the Pussy tags that had Life Saver lollipops adhered over a cat’s ass with a dab of chocolate. Gross, yet genius. Evil Genius. Trail was over familiar Monkey Run terrain with trail starting from the oft-abused porking lot of our Grand Mattress-on-bottom.
Secondly, this hash doubled as a Farewell-to-Ithaca send-off for our beloved fiends, Crimes Against Huge Mammaries and Man O’ Whore. They are off to the wilds of Denver, CO and we can’t wait to road whore to see them when they are settled. Good Luck in your new jobs and home, Crimes and MOW! We love you!
Thirdly, there was an unprecedented number of cums-late-late-latelies, as in; wankers I’ve never even met before who had NAMES, new baby-daddies and family members. Women There arrived with his son, Captain Slimey, who had been named when he was only 6 years old and was now a teenager. Also in the “we’ve never met” category was Munchbox, who I may still have never met because I kept seeing this guy waaaaay up ahead of me in yellow shirt and kept asking the people around me, “who is that?”. He claimed to have been at PG and Baster’s wedding the previous year but I’m not so sure. I need photographic evidence or it didn’t happen.
New papa 4% Erectus made a triumphant return after 19 months of what I’m assuming was just complete sobriety raising his child during those formative months until it could be released into the wild to find a mate and raise a family of its own. That’s how it works, right? With the Cro-Magnons? Right? Get it? Oh, nevermind…
Hot Shmegma also graced us with his presence after a long absence. The last time we saw him may have been the last time he saw pussy since he was having difficulty remembering what one looks like.
And as for family-that-hashes-together; Virgin Johnny (Commando Cobbler’s brother) was brought by Fleshy and Just Martin came, who happens to be Master Baster’s brother. Our resident twins were also present — Nurse and Head.
We had some over-achieving by Nurse, Tasty and Baster who ran from downtown uphill to the start of trail. It was also Tasty’s 4th Hashiversary.
Some things that happened;
-Flobie got poison ivy on her inner thighs (Sooo murky!)
-The Flambongo returned sans spiders and was much enjoyed
-During BN#1 we filled out slips of paper with our favorite pussy memory. This occurred in the yard of PG and Baster’s friend.
-Apparently there was a shot check at the edge of the creek with Jello shots but I’ll be damned if I can remember anything about it.
-At BN#2, while swimming around near the rusted out bridge trestle, the Fall Creek Floaters came tubing past and we sang for them and Layzer threw the leader a cold beverage. Baster decorated the I beams of the old bridge with penises that turned out to be the IH3 logo and Nurse performed Hashbaptisms on TYCA, Just Daisy and Virgin Johnny. This was just after we saw TYCA ‘floating’ (we were convinced he was quietly drowning).
-It was just before BN#3 that we lost 4% Erectus and CC to their families. This BN had an improvised table, thanks to Debasement and Ookie, made from a stump and an old metal outdoor table top. It was placed in front of the flat screen hash TV. During this BN is when we read the pussy memory slips and tried to guess who had which memory. We kinda sucked at this game.
During trail, Virgin Johnny was wearing some sort of real animal tail (fox? coyote?) and Tasty found the tip lying in the dirt and picked it up. She then made lots of ‘just the tip’ jokes for the rest of the afternoon. Tasty also picked up Brownie’s Garmin after Nurse threw it to shore. There was definitely a lost property charge made of that after Brownie went all the way back to the BN to find it.
Some Side-Sides were given during circle to Virgin Johnny and Crimes for the offense of growing another year older and V. Johnny was given his in the flabongo.
Handy challenged the pussies in circle with her disco dick that she hand-mirrored perfectly.
Tasty took off her pants to do the sleeve of shame and was awarded the Boston M*rathon over-achievement shirt.
Crimes and MOW were also given a shirt signed by everyone as a going-away present.
During On-After, we gathered around the campfire with sticks (some of which were pretty small and limp) to roast wieners and marshmallows. The rolls ran out and Floss ate his wiener on graham crackers.
And to cap it all off, Just Sherry got a speeding ticket on her way home and the police officer asked her what was written on her back windshield. Nurse had scribbled, “Follow me to the On-In” in window marker there. Um, officer, I don’t know what that means?!?