5/24/15: Trail #755
REHASH FOR MAMMORIAL DAY !!
Fingerlakes National Forest
Hare: Nurse TaKillya
One Trick Dick
Tastes Like 10th Grade
Butt Floss w/Phoenix
Brown Hole Delivery w/Shiggy
Never Leave Camp:
Dunga The Blumpkin King
First of all, let me just say it now – All hash runs ought to have a camping option. This was just soooooo much fun. Being that it was Mammorial Day, only those of us who need to get a life were there from IH3 and we were nearly outnumbered by visitors. This was totally awesome, by the way – hanging out with Robin Wood and St. Nipplezzz and getting to know them better, meeting the very adventurous Altered Boy and Just Stephanie, and of course (can I really say that OTD is a visitor at this point? He’s absolutely the biggest road whore I’ve ever met…) OTD and the lovely Deer Near pleasured us with their presence.
Nurse TaKillya set a very audacious trail all by her lonesome in the Fingerlakes National Forest and we didn’t even get lost for a second. Of course, the Turkey/Eagle split was due to an aborted attempt at trail that ended up being too shiggy for the masses. This scribe is pretty sure some Eagles are still bearing the scars of wild roses and the fragrance from the Bog of Eternal Stench. We are lucky to still own both sneakers in the pair we were wearing and not have left one in the sucking mud. Let me point out that the Eagles also got NOTHING for their efforts – no shot check, no BN, no hand jobs. WTF, Hare?!?
The day was perfect, weather you dream of in Upstate NY – we bounded along the open field across from Camp GoodBeer, a fast section of trail in the beginning that made you glad to be alive, in the woods, with friends, and going slightly downhill. No cows in sight (yet). Yay! Downhill! No Cows!
There were Boob checks (Handy and Tasty showed their ta-tas to Kicky) and Dick checks (Thanks, Spike!) and song checks (Altered Boy sang My Girl’s a Vegetable – good choice, we don’t really do that one in Ithaca).
Before we even found a BN we came to a shot check with *delicious* Cuervo Gold Margarita waiting for us on the side of a road. It was decided that we should just throw the cap away. We managed to save some for the DFLs, but it was a close thing. We were very thirsty.
The first BN was discovered up a stream at the bottom of a steep gorge. The rocks were VERY slippery and blocked in many areas by dead fall but everyone with their different abilities and different footwear managed to avoid any hash crashes and made it safely to a sweet little spot where Spike noticed Jack in the Pulpits growing and beautiful mosses and ferns for the dogs to go wild stomping about on. Floss used this opportunity to catch up on some of his work load and social media. We discovered that Robin Wood was very *hip* and that Just Stephanie is quite nimble.
There were a couple of J Hooks on trail – Kicky found one and ran back to OTD, Ookie found another and had to run it back to Floss (who was still on his phone).
At the 2nd BN near the Blueberry Patch Campground along a path between a cow pasture and the forest, Nurse shocked us with the information that this was a Zombie Trail. The rest of trail was now live. Handy found a skull and we debated what it could possibly be.
Spike said, “It’s not a deer, it’s cool.”
Well, after securing her new friend, Mystery Skull, Handy took off like a shot to chase down the hare with Tasty, Kicky, Spike, Altered Boy and Ookie cumming quickly right behind. Ookie rabbited himself into the FRB position and almost immediately ran into a third J hook, much to Tasty’s relief. Seeing as the DFLs were not far behind, he quickly rejoined the pack chasing down the hare. Nurse had a few beers and more shots up her sleeve, and so knowing that we were right on her tail, she started ejecting booze left and right, shedding excess weight and slowing us down. We choked down peach flavored shots and warm foamy beers as fast as we could but we did not catch that wily hare.
At the 3rd BN we realized that we were literally just one campsite down the road from ON-IN so after everyone caught up, we grabbed beers and walked down the road.
Upon arriving back to camp, we found Dunga the Blumpkin King waiting with sheet pizzas and Wowie and Jack who were Never Leave Camp.
Since our RA was was M.I.A, along with both GMs (top and bottom!), we had a special guest star lead circle! Wowie stepped up and conducted circle, OTD provided songs whenever dead air threatened, and no one walked away with dry lips. In fact, almost no one walked away at all. Handy and Ellie went home and so did Spike because somehow he missed the memo that we were all camping (oh, Spikey…) but the rest of us stayed and enjoyed a campfire and stars and cows (who came to check us out, but not too close) who cum when you call caaaaa-oooooo! caaaaa-oooooo! They also run away when you yell this. Tasty kept trying to get people to visit the cabin in the woods. Everyone laughed. A lot.
Floss slept in his car. The End.