A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
This hash was a historic occasion, an anniversary of sorts… My
virgin hash was set by Toothy Lunker, and virgin hares starting from
Braley Hill road in shindagin hollow, and it was a fine hash. This
hash was set by Toothy and virgin hare, Twisted Fister, starting from
Braley Hill rd, and it too was a fine hash.
Much more snow than I expected was still on the ground throughout
shindagin hollow for what was most likely our last snow hash of the
06/07 snow hashing season. Not only was there more snow than I
expected, there were more hashsers. We had a large pack, with many
regulars, and cums latelys, and virgins Just John, Just Daniel, and
Just Jason.
The hash got underway a bit late, which was good, as Just Ali and I
were running a bit late. When we did get around to searching the
forest for beer, we started out going up a hill where the third mark
seemed to be rather far from marks one and two, Toothy was up to her
old tricks again, and she has corrupted Twisted Fister… When we
came to the first check I realized the hares were being quite tricky
indeed, as there were no tracks in the snow following the true trail.
At the next check, a nipple check, we learned that LOA manages to
maintain a tan even in the upstate NY winter… After a short jaunt
through the shiggy, we arrived at a beer near, and there was much
rejoicing… And Country Cock, who was not present at the start of
the hash, came into the BN with the tail of the pack… There was
some taunting among the hashers who recently had children. I believe
Tequila Bill and Staffy Puller told CC that _their_ child was
sleeping well. Among the other things going on was a discussion
between myself and Liquor Harder of the relative quality of gluten
free “beer” and hash “beer”, and Cocksmith trying repeatedly, but
with little success, to keep Arlo from the “deer nuggets”.
When the hashers had finished their beers, and Arlo had had enough of
that shit he was eating, we decided that it would be good to follow
the trail, and then a little bit later, we did follow the trail. The
second leg of this hash was long, and twisty with a very nice variety
of Y’s, checks, nipple checks, two breasted checks, back checks, wide
trails, shiggy, and suicidal downhills… Among the features and
occurrences worth noting on this leg of the trail were the double
nipple check, with large symmetric breasts, the BC 5 which the FRB
JuShUAD ran past, leading the hash to think he might be lost forever,
Butt Floss attempting to knock over all hashers getting between him
and the next beer near, and the suicidal down hill, which was
responsible for several hash crashes. It should be noted that the
hares were not cruel and placed beer very near the bottom of the
suicidal downhill, so all wounds incurred through the inevitable hash
crashes could be anaesthetised quickly.
This second beer near was next to a creek along side a road, and the
road had a dead squirrel on it, which Hot Lips removed so it wouldn’t
become a chew toy for one of the hash pooches present… While
resting at the beer near, the hash enjoyed many goodies, including
cookies and guacamole flavored pringles. Now, the hash was tired, and
most of the pack walked the final leg of the hash back to the cars,
where Just Jackson got all bundled up in his blanket, and we held
circle.
So we circled up, and punished the hares Toothy and Twisted Fister.
Then we welcomed the virgins. Just Daniel was made to come by Freeze
Frame and SS Thunderthighs. Dances neglected to ask the next
question, because he was uncomfortable with the incestuous
implications. I think we should have called for a religious advisor
down-down at that point. Just Jason was made to cum by “That fuck
over there” gesturing towards either Nut Roper or Master Baster. I
didn’t catch who made Just John cum, but I think it was Floss… At
some point around here we realized that we would need the additional
hash beer that was in my car, so I went to get it, and on my way back
to the circle the box I was carrying the beer in broke, and cans of
cheap beer went everywhere, with one of them going into full geyser
mode… Being a group of people who can’t stand the thought of a beer
in distress, the hash came to the rescue and transported the ale-ing
beverages to the circle. I was then made to drink for alcohol abuse,
which Dances joined me for, since he had spilled his beer while I was
away getting more. A huge number of hounds had to drink for
participating in, or discussing competition, including Spike and ET.
FRBs JuShUAD and yours truely, Lord Bürpenstain, were joined by DFL’s
Master Baster, Nut Roper, and Just Jason (who didn’t care that virgins
need only drink once) for a down-down. We had a new fathers and
grandfathers down-down for Tequilla Bill, Country Cock, and Butt
Floss. For this down-down Toothy provided a new song, about a hahser
man who’s hung like a pringles can, and has much bedroom skill, but
not much bedroom endurance. This was not to be the only new song for
this circle, co-hare Twisted Fister had another song, or a chant about
the debauchery that is taken part in by the IH3. This prompted a
musicale hares down-down. At some point we closed the circle, and
went to our much warmer cars…
on-on,
Lord Bürpenstain