ReHash #389

The date was the 24 day of November in the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Two. I remember it as if it were it only yesterday, instead of the day before. I was running late ( okay you’re right I was walking late, everyone knows I rarely run ), a phone call kept me from my appointed rounds. I hurried, fearing that all would have left me behind ( and a cute behind it is ), so with the pedal to the metal I swooped into the flat bed parking lot and what do my eyes behold!

A joyous gathering of Hashers and Hashing Dogs, were dancing in my eyes or was it Dancing with Head, I forget! That’s what happens of course when you are inflicted with that Hideous Disease, C.R.S.!! For those not familiar with this inflictions, it’s better known as Can’t Remember Shit ! Although Little Miss Muffit tells me it’s brown, stinks and taste terrible, I guess we’ll have to take his word for that!

Looking around I spied our Hares, Dances with Head and Just Jen. Spike and Just Mark ( who likes to Hash when the Weather gets Shitty), Tobbie aka Pucker and our illustrious GM the Wise and Powerful BALL WRINKLE, Little Miss was of scouting trail or so I was told as I didn’t see him, and just when I thought I would be drinking as the BLAB. Around the corner came sound of screeching tires and squealing breaks and behold that Doctor of Strawberry, The voice of Dust 4 Jr, yes our very own HOT LIPS, Had arrived sparing me and Hershey from being Blab’s.

After a quick chalk talk we set off in search of the trail and to find Little Miss, who we suspect was scouting out Shitty Trails. Of we searched for the start of True Trail and flour, Hershey was here, there and everywhere barking and running and shouting let get this Hash going!

We finally found True Trail and off across the footbridge we went, the trail was a shitty brown ( we suspected Little Miss had something to do with that, but were not sure ). With whoops of On-On and R-U we came to our third check and realized that we had just the right number of Hashers for the check, five. Over the hill and trail we came to Grandma’s house she wasn’t there, but we did find her bottle of Peach Schnapps, and since it’s customary to toast to Granny’s Health we did. And because we want to keep her Healthy we toasted her again ( after she turned light brown we let her go ), and off we went again. We ran along the shores of that creek that runs to Beebe Lake, an what a majestic view of that shit brown creek ( we blamed that on Little Miss too ).

After that we found our first BEER STOP, And we tried to corrupt innocent joggers to join us in beer, but alas we had to settle for light banter about mountain climbing. We knew it was time to leave the BS as Hershey was spazzing out, saying hey if there are no dog treats, lets get going. So we did with HOT LIPS, in front of BW and I when what did we behold ( and no it wasn’t each other ) it was Hot Lips on his back in the middle of a shitty brown muddy trail. He claims Hershey sent him Ass Over Tea Cup, but since we didn’t see any Tea set we tended to believe he made it all up just so we wouldn’t think he was clumsy or drunk. So after many laughs, mostly BW and I; as Hot Lips was looking a lot like a tootsies roll! So off we ran and behold we found a Hershey wantta be, yes another brown lab who wanted to play with Tobbie and Hershey. Their owner is a friend of ROAD KILL, and also knows HAIR DOWN THERE, which of course if he doesn’t show up soon to a Hash we won’t know who he is. After this encounter we came to the old Metal Bridge which we climb over and across to the other side, while the dogs swam the muddy water while we pondered where was Little Miss. We ran along until we found another Hash Rest, and we hung out waiting for our two Hares who kept showing up twenty minutes late, looking very guilty. We suspected many, many, murky moments were being had! Just Jen is begging for a name, maybe Bite me, Spank me would be appropriate considering the amount of times she been seen nuzzling with Dances ( and if you don’t know what nuzzling is see the possible name up above for hints ). So as we get ready to take off from the rest Dances finally remembers hey where’s the beer. We pointed out that the trail sign said HR, there was no mention of those Sweet Words we Hashers live by BEER NEAR, So we grab some beer and off we went searching for the trail home. Just Jen decide at that point that, hey I might be deserving of a different name and immediately fell face first onto a tree root and into the trail, we of course immediately tried to think of new names for J.J. Such as Peach Schnapps Till You Drop ! Or I’ve fallen and I can’t get Dances off of MeI

I decided to stay in the back with Dances and Just Jen to spy on there Murky Moments and so as we arrived last back at our starting point, and what did we behold, a sight rarely seen and one only whisper about in soft tones ! HOT LIPS, was doing a down-down for being a BLAB, after which he quickly left. Which I understand happen with Little Miss, as he was no where’s to be seen. But that was okay as four other Hashers appear as if by magic. BUTT FLOSS & LOA, TEQUILA BILL & STAFFY PULLER ( If Tequila Bill ever finish the last rehash you’ll find out who STAFFY PULLER is and why ). So we did our Down-Down, for Blabs and Blebs, Cumms Lately, No mugs, Hash Crashes, to many hats on head while drinking. And of course DANCES did an up-up to celebrate that milestone that know one thought he live to see 25 years of age. SPIKE was so thrilled that it was Dances birthday that he presented him with his second Ithaca Mug. Now we all know how much Dances likes his beer, so having two mugs makes perfect sense, or was it perfect cents, I forget again!

So after that we decided that it was time to close the circle and reconvene at Cast Aways for food and more beer and to help Just Jen finish off her Peach Schnapps. That’s our story and I’m sticking to it just because I can. 1/2 MONTY