ReHash #328

A beautiful fall afternoon was enjoyed by all who traversed the country roads to the Fingerlakes National Forest in Hector for IH3’s 329th run. Trail was marked by hares Hot Lips and Butt Floss through rolling pastures and wooded forest. Though harriers found it difficult to follow the initial trial set by Floss which seemed to have no true direction, only spots of floor scattered on top of cow pies that resembled a mine field for the casual runner. But, as the faithful harriers pulled their wounded from the battlefield through barbed-wired fences, Col. Floss was waiting with late comers to quickly get us back on trail.

With views of distant hills and lakes, Hot Lips (and his companion Chia Pet) guided our harriers onward in search of the promised reward, BEER! At one point panic did set in when Hashers arrived at the second Hash Rest to find the nourishment had disappeared. Luckily, even the scent of fresh manure could not distract Skull’s keen nose from sniffing out the relocated refreshment and depleted fluids were quickly replenished. After Ball Wrinkles unsuccessful attempt to lure a suckling calf away from his mother for personal enjoyment, our crew was back on trail and made quick work of the remaining shiggy.

We returned to our initial staging area, greeted by Country Cock, who cut the whole thing off and would soon drink for being the Bobbit. Down-Downs were officially started with our Hares for the event Hot Lips and Butt Floss, followed by the token Virgin of the run just “Kevin” who we found out was made to cum that morning and for the afternoon Hash by just “Alison”. Title of bloody-early-arriving-bastard (BLEAB) was earned by Half Monty and bloody-late-arriving-bastard (BLAB) was awarded to just “Alison”. Committee had to go into executive session where it was determined, normally a virgin would only drink once at their first Hash, but in this case the BLAB’s passenger rule would take precedence and thus just “Kevin” was qualified for another Down-Down. Roto-Rooter was made to drink for alcohol abuse. Apparently while traveling along a turnpike somewhere he rolled his vehicle and the six pack in the trunk was destroyed in the crash. If he had properly buckled the containers in the passenger seat, this tragedy could have been avoided. Surprisingly, two veteran hasher were caught using the “R” word and paid dearly for the mistake, Calvin & Skull. Joining them was just “Bob”who at the last Hash had ripped the “R” word off the front of his T-shirt not realizing it was still on the back. He was so excited he didn’t wear a T-shirt with the “R” word on it this run, that it slipped right off his tongue. Hash Crashes were made by just “Kevin” and “Alison,” probably they were still weak from their morning horizontal exercises. Calvin, Skull, 7/16, Inspector Speculum and Country Cock all drank for not having their mugs.

Then came the naming ceremony, beginning with just “Alison” who because of her fetish for wearing a chain leash while running was baptized “Releash Me” and just “Annie,” possibly for her fetish but we didn’t want details, was baptized “Little Oral Annie.” At this point things got a little out of hand. Inspector Speculum produced a sex toy from the trunk of his vehicle and shackled the two harrierettes together at the ankles. Being the only females attending the Hash, you might think they were in a difficult “position,” but they easily handled everything we could throw at them. And not forgotten from being absent at the last Hash, Skull drank an Up-Up for his birthday.

In all it was a fine Hash, good trail, food (especially Spike’s spicy rice crispy squares), burgers and plenty of BEER!!

Dates to remember:
Next Hash        —Oct 8th        Set by Spike
—Oct 22nd    Set by Inspector Speculum
Halloween        —Oct 28th       Erie Hash