A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
Eight (or nearly thereabouts) virgins were happily inducted into the world of hashing yesterday in the wild Cornell Plantations, with no major injuries sustained, three BN’s, one HA HA going up the hill by the horse fences, and enough flour to make sure everyone stayed on trail (barely). Just Jess and Reach Around Hound served as the hares for the inaugural (and possibly only) DVM hash, which brought out five women, three gentlemen, and three dogs. (Hooray for positive gender ratios!)
Trail gathered at the Flat Rock parking lot, soon craniuming past the suspension bridge upstream along the little path. Nut Roper came up in mention, both as my sponsor, his similarities to our hare, and as a former vet. A mysterious YBF met half the pack up the creek a bit, while the other half continued across Forest Home and up the other side of the hill back towards the Plantations. Zounds! A villainous r*n to get our blood moving! We arrived at a check at the base of the hill at the far end of the Arboretum. Up we went, where lo and behold a BN! A glorious BN by the bell, where we meekly and thoughtfully broke into a cache of PBR and Doritos as a young family watched their daughter play with the gonging sound. Yours truly read from a page taken from a film class final project, in which a bookie and two friends seemed to be in a quarrel. Spike found it wanting, and noted the changes didn’t seem to make much sense (as did the original).
From there we bounded down the hill, past a goose and the concrete sculptures and towards the creek. We detoured *around* the cars, shimmying along the creek and up the embankment to the bridge, where what could be waiting for us but BN! Reach Around commemorated his first hash by re-ascending the bridge, and we feasted on some Yuengling and Utica Club as a serious-looking runner and a fellow with his dog passed us by. We learned at this stop of the ins and outs of Vet life such as subject areas of study and residencies. Jess was (for some reason) quite eager to keep the pack moving, and at each stop kept asking “So… are we…?” (Not until we finished our beer) We lamented when Garth (dressed in a cut-off wilderness firefighter getup) poured out a good half of his beverage before setting off (woe! woe!).
True trail kept further upstream, and a check presented itself at the base of the hill not far along. Suspecting another YBF, this half-mind journeyed upward to discover Jess’s taunt to the crowd, and at the crotch of a large fallen cottonwood I discovered a military bag with STOCKWOOD boldly emblazoned on it, which contained MORE BEER! After a good half-a-mile or so since the first BN, I was indeed feeling very thirsty and liberated the libations as the others ascended. The curious tattoo of one Justin (clad only in veterinary-issue overalls) was discussed–he had three small dots arranged in a triangle on his arm–and the “un-drunk” circumstances in which it was decided by he and his two best friends to emblazon themselves therewith.
Having thoroughly exhausted our abilities to consume tasty beverages, we turned downstream along the grain, coming out by the edge of the golf course and scurrying along the ridge before dropping down along the creek again. ON IN was spotted across the creek, and so the pack forded the river. Two participants were gallantly rescued by Reach Around in the line of duty, when Just Julia’s playful hound was caught in a
current, and a tentative recovery by Heather went awry, necessitating a follow-up rescue. Down-downs were awarded for virgins, graduating vets, non-graduating peoples, trail blood, “less breathing, more drinking!” (directed to Reach Around, of course, by Just StefO), hound owners, inadequate stream-crossing abilities, and best costume.
~MB