IH3 Trail #493

Hash Logistics:
Date: October 08, 2006
Location: Seneca Str. Garage
Hare: CC
Hashers in attendance: Road Kill, ET, Hairy Condom Jr, Just Rob, Tequila Bill, WT, Spike, Dances with Head, and PP.
Bobbit: Staffy Puller, and Lil’ Tequila Puller in the belly.

We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day on a fall Sunday afternoon. Dances and I pulled into the top floor of the Seneca Str. Garage only to find Road Kill, all by himself looking over the railing. Was he thinking of jumping?, Or was he dreaming of Starbucks Coffee, or even maybe a beer at Kilpatricks? We didn’t really wonder about that, as Dances and I were more concerned to find beer for ourselves. And we didn’t ask for a million dollars!. Shortly after, we started drooling at the thought of cold, cheap light beer, CC showed up in his car, and of course a cooler full of cold beer!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmmmmmm heaven!.

Shortly after, Spike showed up, followed by ET, Hairy Condom Jr., and Just Rob. Before joining us though, Just Rob had to get his caffeine fix, and bought himself an overpriced Starbucks coffee, which for their credit it did smell wonderfully. And before long, Tequila Bill joined us, as well as WT, with his porno DVD. He claims he was going to mail it before coming up to meet with us, but couldn’t find a mailbox outside the Ithaca Post office!.

We stayed at the garage a bit longer, while Road Kill and Wt pondered whether they could jump off the roof and like squirrels grab onto branches of a tree that was under us. We also waived at some tenants of the Hilton, who were curiously looking at us. But, then we got bored, we finished our beers, and so we decided to go on trail.

Some made their way out of the garage using the stairs, and others, including this lazy hasher, took the elevator. We were off, running through the Commons, going by the cult coffee shop, and through the parking lot behind benchwarmers. Was CC going to give us a tour of all of Ithaca’s parking garages? Well, we did run through the Green str. garage, but then soon after, we found our selves crossing the Clinton Str. bridge and heading down a small trail and following six mile creek briefly. CC, then had us climb up a hill behind the IPD, then jump over some railing, and climb over some rocks to end up somewhere on the S. Hill. By now, I was exhausted, and of course a DFL. CC, who was sweaping was nowhere to be found, and in front of me, Just Rob and Tequila Bill looked lost. the rest of the pack was long gone. From our location, I though that maybe, just maybe, we would stop over at Lord Burpenstain’s house for a BN, but I was proven wrong, as I did find last mark, and showed Tequilla Bill and Just Rob the true trail. So on we went east now, heading towards the Wildflower Garden and the Reservoir. Very familiar territory. Soon after, CC catches up to us. Apparently he had been waiting for us after the long uphill, but we slipped past him. But, we caught up to everyone else, as there seemed to have been some confusion around a check point. But, true trail was down the trail along 6 mile creek. Road kill not wanting to get his feet wet, and WT, Tequila Bill, Just Rob, and myself wanting to shortcut, decided to just run on the road and then cut down to the BN instead of following true trail. Our shortcut, ended up being a long cut afterall. but we did make it. And for some reason Roadkill "got lost" during his shortcut and didn’t show up to the BN until 20 minutes later.

This was a very cool BN spot CC had chosen. Someone has used the rocks by the creek to create art, by balancing different shapes of rocks on each other. Some of the different pieces of art were pretty amazing. While the rest of us sat down and enjoyed our beer, pretzels, and fig newtons that CC graciously provided, Spike, ET, and Hairy Condom Jr. got their creativities together and tried to create some similar hard rock art. ET seems to be having a really tough time balancing the hard rocks on each other, whereas Spike, more experienced with rock hard objects, seemed to be having an easier time. However, I must say that Hairy Condom’s piece of work (using rock hard material to depict male genitalia), was much better than anything Spike or ET were able to create.

Well, we had fun, but we wanted to keep going, at which time CC advised us that the trail from this BN started with a BC35!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! back check 35????? well, at least this was along the creek, so us shortcutters that didn’t get to run on the scenic route the first time, did it this time!. We went over the bridge, then run through some stinky sewage pipes, across state str. and up eddy or quarry str. (one of those 2). now at this time, Tequila Bill, Just Rob, CC and myself were once again at the back of the pack. CC asked us if we wanted to stay on trail, at which with confidence, we all answered Yes, Of course!…. As soon as we said that, I started thinking if we had just made a big mistake…… Well, trail led us through the driveway of a big building (which according to CC is a school, but according to Hairy Condom is a co-op). As we were running through the driveway/front asphalted yard/parking lot of the "school" building, we see a fence in front of us. Dances, ET, and Hairy had already crossed, so we realize we will need to do some fence jumping soon. While I’m humping the fence, with Dances’ assistance, I hear some disturbance…………. CC, Just Rob, and Tequila Bill were stopped in front of one of the doors to the "school". A custodian, or a professor, or whoever that guy was, came outside, and scolded the 3 hashers for running through private property, and causing a disturbance!!!!!!!!!!!. If this was/is a school, why was this gentleman being disturbed on a Sunday afternoon? Is this some sort of special school where they are holding classes on Sundays???????????????????? Oh well. Next time we go through their front yard, we’ll make sure to call ahead of time and ask for permission!. With a bit more running, we end up crossing Buffalo Str., going through some back alleys, and voila! a BN at Roadkill’s place.

This was another well earned hash stop. Here, we learn that while humping the fence, Roadkill has an accident, and ET helped him with pulling his running shorts down. Or maybe was it up??? I don’t remember….Oh well. Just for the record, the hash may soon own Roadkill’s building above Cascadilla gorge. We made him an offer in exchanging for owning his building. If I’m not mistaken, the offer was: $100,000 dollars (which comes down to ~10k per interested hasher that was there yesterday), some snacks and beer, and a BJ, which I will give to Roadkill dressed as a sheep………… I think at the end, Roadkill decided that a BJ would be more than a fair trade for the building, so we may not need to pay any money afterall!. We will keep you posted on the developments……

We were off again, heading towards the chapter house, then across Stewart Str. Bridge, and heading down the hill past the ithaca cemetery. We ran by beautiful houses, narrow streets, and down the hill, making it down to Buffalo str. again, and entering the parking garage on Aurora Str. Up we went, everyone using the elevator this time I think.

Up at the top of the garage, we found Staffy Puller, and Lil’ Tequila Puller in the belly waiting for us. We waiting a bit long for Just Rob to arrive, who for some reason, even though he shortcutted from Roadkill’s house straight down to the cars, made it to the garage 10 minutes after everyone had gotten here.

Circle started with Dances leading us or misleading us, as was the case sometimes, through the songs.
CC drunk for a shitty trail.
Roadkill drunk for being a BLEAB, and WT drunk for being a BLAB.
WT also drunk for bring mail to the hash.
Dances, Spike, and someone else drunk for being FRBs.
PP and Just Rob drunk for being DFLs.
ET and Hairy Condom drunk for hosting a band Saturday night and possibly having a gang bang.
ET and Roadkill drunk for hash crashes.
Staffy Puller drunk for being a comes lately, and a BOBBIT.
Hairy Condom and WT drunk for having extremely clean socks even after a shitty trail.
Roadkill drunk for wearing a tshirt advertising a competitive event.
WT and Roadkill drunk for not bringing their hash mugs, even though they claim they haven’t had one in 20 years…..
A lot of us drunk for shortcutting.

And there were more accusations which I do not remember, but it was all fun, and everyone drunk.

Then it was time for awards………

Hairy Condom awarded the Ithaca funnel to WT. (I haven’t seen that award in a couple of years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Hairy Condom’s newest addition, was of course an unused packaged condom with an expiration date of 2002 or 2003, and some hair glued to the outside!………… X;{. WT, however, refused to accept the award as he didn’t want to take it home (he was walking from the Commons to his house), and didn’t want to have that award in the house with his teenage son. So, Tequila Bill, being a chivalrous guy accepted the award, so both Hairy Condom and Tequila Bill drunk from it, by putting the tube in their mouths while Dances was pouring liquid down the funnel!.

Then, ET awarded me the purple head award, for which I don’t remember the reason right now.

And finally, while at the circle, ET gave birth to the hash baby award. He awarded the hash baby to Spike. Both Spike and the hash baby drunk for finally being in each others company.

Circle was then closed. Roadkill headed for the ABC cafe for some steamed cow intestines, and fried venison balls. WT headed home, Dances and I headed for the grocery store, and the rest of the gang headed to Benchwarmers’ for some greasy food.

It was a great fun hash, and it was a beautiful day to be hashing. Thank you CC.

Hairy Condom Jr. will be setting next trail on Sunday, October 22.

See you then,

On-on PP