ReHash #396

It was the second day of March in the year of our lord 2,003. It’s the Chineese year of the Sheep, would someone please notify Road Kill that it’s his year to have as many sheep as he wants! It was a Sunday like any other Sunday except it was the Hash Analversary for one "DANCES WITH HEAD&quot, other than that it was just an ordinary Hash Sunday. Except that this trail was set by the Ball’s Brothers, yes it was "BEAVER BAM-BAM-BALLS AND BALL WRINKLE". Having arrived just after the BLEB who name we won’t mention, right Spike. Extra Testicle and myself ( Half-Monty ) pulled in right behind Spike and soon Dances shows up and being the celebration of his first Hash proceeds to get his car stuck in a snow bank. Soon the Ball Brothers show up and decided to bust the first Hashers Balls by making us tow eight pallets a half mile up hill to a desegnated fire pit. Toothy and her hounds showed up to ! walk in front of us giving us a reason to pull the sled uphill, something to do with excess Testatorine I understand. Bitch Squellor and Just A ( darn I Can’t remember her first name, but it starts with an A ), Butt Floss shows up and drops off LOA as he is on his way to Hash in Germany, look out Europe! Up to the fire pit we go and who should be pulling in late but Mister Stiffy himself the soon to be married Hasher ( April 26 or there abouts).

Off we go into the winter wonderland ( wonder why anyone would be out in this weather , oh yeah now I remember. BEER! ) We run along through the snow cover trail and find a can of open beer which Just A and ET poured out rather than taking a chance of getting some other Hashers Kooties ! As we come up to a check I hear a dog fight, since we had Hershey this is part one I will finish this today.

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So where was I, Oh yes, the Dog fight. I was of course as always trailing the main pack of Hashers and Dogs and I heard what sounded like a dog fight or at least the Hashers discovering an unknown beer stop. Thinking that my Dog Hershey was fighting with Toothy’s younger dog ( Toothy’s older Dog loves Hershey and the younger dog hates him for the same reason) but much to my surprise it was Calvin ( I don’t need no plowed road ) Climax and F&Chuckem’s poor little baby Maggie ( a gorgeous golden Retriever ) getting thumped by Toothy’s older Dog. It was a no holds bared girl fight, and poor Maggie came away bloody. Of course I was suprised to see Chuck’em and without Calvin. It seems that the two of them and Maggie were returing from NYC and Calvin decided to navigate the back roads to the Hash. Unfortuntely the roads are all Seasonal roads and not easily navigated by cars and trucks , especially those without four wheel drive.! It seems they drove into a deep ditch. They both join the Hash ( all though I never did see Calvin ) right after the beer stop. As the wind was blowing and the temperature dropping we all took off for the On-In . Ball Wrinkle decided to go help Chuck’em and C.C. get there vehicle unstuck while the rest of us decided to play pyromaniacs and started the pallet on fire. Turns out that Beaver Bam Bam loves a good fire as he used the entire quart of Charcoal fluid to start the fire. Inbetween flying embers we drank down-down . Spike for being a Bleb and Mr. Stiffy for Blab as Calvin and Chuck’em were no where’s to be seen. Than Toothy and ET drank for Front Running and Dead last runners. Dances drank because he could, Beaver Bam-Bam for being the only Hare. Toothy and I for Dogs as well as Bitch Squellor drinking for Chuck’em. Just A for bieng our only Virgin, LOA drank and drank and drank something ab! out Floss isn’t here I can drink as much as I damn well like!! Little Miss Drank for something all though I don’t remember what. Little Miss did have his sketch book along and he showed us some sketches ofHash rabbits he is drawing for our emblem for this falls weekend. They looked great.After that and another instant replay of the Dog fight with Maggie and Toothy’s Dog, we decided to eat hot dogs and chips and drank beer until which time we had burned up the pallet, than Mister Stiff and Bam-Bam urinated on the pallet until the fire was out. After that we decided we had to go send out a search party for Ball Wrinkle and Calvin and company, no answer on the phone and no way to drive where they were, so we did the next best thing. We went to the Dryden Hotel and proceed to drink more beer and worry about our friends. About the third pitcher of beer we finally got through to them and told them where we were. Shortly there after, Ball Wrinkle and Chuck’em showed up and said Calvin! was hooking up with a backhoe to get his truck out of the ditch. It seems that Ball Wrinkles truck and winch weren’t big enough to do this job. So off Calvin went in search of a Backhoe, he must be practicing for his bachelor party , why else would he want a Back-Hoe. Please don’t tell Chuck’em about Calvin and the Ho! So finally everyone left the Hotel but Toothy and I and Beaver Bam-Bam Balls, who had managed to get gobs of cash from Brother Ball Wrinkle to buy beer with. Toothy and I left Beaver there waiting for Ball Wrinkle to come back after looking for Calvin. The next Hash may or may not be Hared by ET and Harry Condom Junior, we’re waiting to hear from the boss of the house. Also Dances is organizing a Fat Tuesday Marti Gras Pub Crawl for this Tuesday ( tomorrow ).

Also I wanted to mentioned that one of our Hashers Poke-a hinnie ( hingness, etc ) other wise know as Becky Harmon is the World yes World record holder in the 1500 snowshoe event. So if you see Becky give her an attegirl, salutation. Adios amigos.

1/2 Monte