ReHash #383

Ah yes, Labor Day, the Holiday in recognition of women every where….. Our hares, Dances With Head and Ball Wrinkle, being the true mothers that they are, laid one shitty trail this past Sunday! (Of course any bimbo would realize this when the hash is out in West Bum F*ck, on a dirt road, on a hill….) Yes, it was some hash…..

This being one of Dances famous “bring a virgin” themes, the trail was set in totally virgin territory for the Ithaca Hash. My attempt at making a virgin cum failed when Floss interrupted us….. Floss, being the awesome stud that he is……came with his virgin, (a first I think), a new SUV. The former “Just Jess” brought a virgin, sorry, name escapes me. But I know he came in the same car as “Just Jess”, Shiggy Shiggy Gang Bang and L’ill Miss Muffit. (It’s OK, “Just Jess” said that it wasn’t her car….) And then there was “Just Dan”….more to cum on him later…..

Also in attendance were Scooby Snatch, 1/2 Monty, Hot Lips, DC visitors Vominatrix and friend and Flour City visitors Low Beams and Beaver Bam Bam Balls. Oh, and Puker and “Just Hershey”.

After chalk talk…..we were off! But where? We looked all around in the usual places for flour….about 30 feet away from our cars……and found no signs at all! Eventually, the hares cried out “Go further…..UP the hill!” Shortly there after, we heard the familiar “ON-ON” shouted out by our DC visitors as they ran up the hill. For Cripes Sake!…..didn’t they know they were in Ithaca!?….Why were they running!?

Thankfully, our hares knew whom they were dealing with. They placed a circle check on top of the hill so that the rest of us Ithawanks could catch up. After a few wrong turns, we were back on trail again; and soon after we were rewarded with our first “Beer Near” being cried out by our hapless DC FRBs. Quaint little hunting cabin with shot-up targets scattered about on the “lawn”….. After a few plugs for the upcoming DC Red Dress Run which will be hared by our visitors, BW offered up the last of the cold refreshing libations. Butt Floss quickly snatched it up. (Thank goodness his virgin doesn’t require manual stimulation to make it purr down the road)

As we were dashing down the trail, and checking out another one of BW’s circle jerk checks, L’ill Miss Muffit and I became disoriented going down with each other. Totally out of breath when we caught up to the DFLs, Butt Floss and Low Beams, we elected to join them on their scenic venture along the trail Down and across the dried up ravine we went….with nary another hasher in sight, nor heard. We were surely so far behind that there would be no beer left for us at the next rest……

We were wrong though. Apparently our fleet footed FRBs blew right through the second beer stop. We caught to the thirsty ones as they dipped into the ice bag of refreshment. Deciding that we were too far behind the pack to catch up, our hares took us back cross country towards the end point of our trail. While enroute, BW pointed out a sweet “motherly” ravine on the other side of the valley, which seemed to beckon us to break its hash chastity.

Back at the cars we broke into the remainder of the beer and Dances ran the circle. Our hares drank as did our virgins. Speaking of, I promised more on “Just Dan”. He claimed that he came alone, but 1/2 Monty was quick to pipe up that he had something to do with it, and therefore was awarded a drink with the virgins along with “Just Jess”. L’ill Miss and I drank for a murky moment….it was worth it! ;o) Our visitors all drank. “Just Jess” got a birthday side-side. Hot Lips escaped once again before the circle began. L’ill Miss was awarded the Horses Ass award by 1/2 Monty……AGAIN!!…apparently he forgot his “award” at the last hash. BW gave out stuffed bunnies to most everyone….seems the yard sale bug hit on the way down from Rochester. Others drank….and then……”Just Jess” was called up again. Names were a flyin’…..Hardly Cums At All, the usual TIUTALAM by 1/2 Monty, Dry Hump…and finally…..SPF69 for her lovely pale cumplexion by our DC visitor. SPF fit right in with the theme of rarely cuming, given that it stands for Sperm Protection Factor. Were we done? Well, almost. For his constant moaning about the name “Takes It Up The Ass Like A Man”, 1/2 Monty was temporarily renamed ” Takes It Up The Ass Like 1/2 Monty” for the Ithaca Hash.

And then…………the beer was gone. :o(

Next hash in two weeks by the Mystery Hare. Followed by yours truly and Butt Floss on September 29.

ON-ON,

LOA