ReHash #376

It was a dark and stormy night…no, wait, it was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, and the hashers were gathered for what was to be another shitty hash. Too much beer/not enuf running, or something like that.

Anyway, the weather brought out a goodly number of hashers, including several visitors, cums-latelies, and some virgins. The virgin hares, Scooby Snatch and Shiggy Shiggy Gang Bang gave us some chalk talk, and we were off, searching for flour. We found it, and it lead us right to the old abandoned railroad tracks. At the tracks there was a fork in the trail, so hashers spread out in both directions to sniff out flour. The true trail appeared to cross the long railroad bridge over the stream, so of course we began to work our way across the bridge. Virgin hasher Just Ella had barely finished uttering the words "Is it safe to walk on the tracks?" to which the veterans all replied "Sure", when the unmistakable sound of a LOUD train horn was heard from behind, followed by the biggest fastest freight train this hasher has ever seen, which came flying around the bend right behind us!

(Pause for dramatic effect)

It was just like that movie Stand By Me, where the train is bearing down on the kids on the bridge, and they start running, and one of them trips and gets his foot caught and they barely escape with their lives. Just Ella got her foot caught, but managed to break free and ran with the other fleeing hashers to the end of the bridge and flung ourselves down the embankment (just like in the movies!) All that excitement in the first five minutes of the run.

After that things calmed down quite a bit, and we had a nice jaunt through the forest until we came to Lick Me Falls, where we found BEER. After wetting our feet and some other parts of our bodies in the cool waters, we were off again scouting out trail. After proceeding on what we thought was true trail from the amount of flour sightings, we suddenly came to a large X with an arrow next to it and more flour beyond it. As the confusedhashers gathered around to stare at this strange new flour mark, ShiggyShiggyGB tried to hide it by standing on top of it, and explaining that it really just a "FALSE FALSE". Then Monty found some Shiggy moss that he tried to plant in a strategic location on ShiggyShiggyGB, only to have E.T. the preservationist that he is, try to replant it in the ground. I thought it looked better on SSGB.

After clambering across unnamed mini-gorges, the trail took us right into the stream itself, for the second BEER stop. Skywhacker played a game of "trust your hasher" with several unsuspecting harriers and harrierettes, and only dropped a few into the stream. Back on trail, straight through the stream, and suddenly we were back to the On In.

In the absence of our fearless leader ButtFloss, Ballwrinkle began the ceremonies in the usual fashion by having the hares drink for setting such a sucky trail. Then some visitors got to drink, including three hikers who were (un)lucky enough to leave their car right in the middle of the On In. Spike was awarded the hash crash medal and drank for that; Atomic Duck also drank for being a visitor. Several cums latelies got to drink too, including Swings Low, WT, and Captain Slimy. Just Ella and Just Diane got to drink for being virgins. Mr. Stiffy and Skywhacker made them cum. (Forest Hump wanted to take the credit, but he was denied).

After that, some names were discussed. Seems a few people have attended several hashes but haven’t done anything STUPID enough to get named right away. Discussion ensued over Just Jess, Just Dan, and Just Chandra. Suddenly, it became clear: the hasher formerly known as Just Chandra would forever after be known to the Ithaca HHH and the world of hashing as….."Harry Condom Jr." Don’t ask why, just go with it. At that point, we were all out of good names, so the other two will have to wait. The circle was closed, and most of the hash adjourned to Castaways…for more beer.

On On
Mr. S