IH3 Trail #447

Now to things more mundane… BW’s prompt, (as promised) less exciting, and less well-written rehash for the January 16 2005 Ithaca hash. Sometimes I get on a roll with these things, so who knows? Maybe this rehash will be really good, and interesting and sh*t.
But I digress.

What could have been another crappy, frigid winter day was actually pretty decent. I was sorta bumming about that as I was driving down to Taughannock Falls, since I had been in my secret hash laboratory perverting modern technology for hash purposes. More on that later.

I am told that the first to arrive were Cocksmith and Pippi. They had been partying in Nittany Valley prior to the hash, but were still up for some more fun. Hot Lips was the sole hare, and was patiently waiting for the IH3 wankers to show up for the start. The hashers filtered in…

1/2 Monty back from Florida without any tan, Hound Whore, Ball Wrinkle, frequent visitors from Syracuse Sphincter Sicle and Pond Scum and their new puppy Odin. Dogs – Hershey, Parker John, Max, and Arlo.
Butt Floss and LOA who live the closest to the start location were last to arrive.

The chalk talk was quick because everyone pretty much knew the IH3 hashing mark convention, and we were off.

The hare laid an (apparently) excellent false at the beginning, because everyone took it heading down the hill toward Rt 89. Well, almost everyone took it. I was still drinking my beer, and talking to Sphincter and Pondy, so I missed that part of the trail. From that point we spent a few minutes wandering through the wilderness of the T. Falls area. One road was crossed. No dogs were killed in the process.

The beer stop was held at the top of the sledding hill. No sledding this year, but we had great fun tossing sticks and logs out onto the skating area and watching the dogs slip and slide across the ice to chase them. As we were drinking our beers someone noticed that the carpenter’s chalk marks that Hot Lips used were exactly the same shade of red as LOA’s new hair color. After performing a comparison, I wiped some of the red marking on Parker John’s side, and later someone commented that my dog was bleeding. I noticed that all the dogs had red stains on their feet from walking in the marks. Cool.

The hashers treked over Hill and Dale and finally ended very near the start at a park storage area/gravel pit/dump where the sweet nectar of life (I’m talking about beer of course) was located under some railroad ties. The tricky hare was quite astute in his planning, as the beer was stored in a cooler to prevent it from freezing.

The circle ensued with Floss making a guest appearance as the RA. It’s like riding a bike obviously, because he did a great job. Down Downs were given for non-dog-owners, a murky moment for Pondy and Sphincter when they allegedly "lost their keys". Yea right.
Pippi and Cocksmith were the BLEABs, Cocksmith was the passenger, so she drank. Floss and LOA were the BLABs and LOA drank. Hot Lips drank extra for forgetting to remove headgear. Pond Scum too. Puppy Odin was dragged through the snow by his leash by Hershey and his doggie gang. Poor little Odin was also the main engine in a doggie gang bang train. That was funny!

Many down-downs, a new song by Sphincter, more doggie shenanigans, more songs, and accusations. After a while we noticed that we were all getting cold. Pond Scum remarked "Do you guys ever have your ceremonies in a nice warm bar!" We all said "Hell No!", Floss closed the circle and we headed back to the cars.

Now, back to the hashing technology I’ve been developing… Some of you may remember the often copied, but never duplicated, Patent-Pending, Ball Wrinkle portable showering apparatus, unveiled at IH3 weekend #2 (or #3 I forget) Well, the next invention from BW Portability Labs is the portable hash circle heater. I fired it up at the cars and quickly the whole hash was my new best friend. Propane and electric powered, 175,000 BTUs/hour, and if you aren’t careful, it will melt your clothes off. (Arrgh Arrrgh Arrgh) This new device really takes the edge off of winter hashing. I’ll keep bringing it for all you fair weather hashers out there. Now there is NO EXCUSE!!! Come out and do a winter hash.

After we warmed our little tushys for a while, the hash retired to Ron Don’s a few miles up the road in T-burg. We feasted on pizza, wings, and BEER.

For the anal retentive – BW collected $36 hash cash, and the food bill at Ron Don’s was $57.55, which we all split evenly after adding a tip.

On-Out
Ball Wrinkle

PS: Parker got stinky in the last 5 minutes of the hash. Who knows what he rolled in, but… PEEE-U
*waves hand in front of face* He got to ride home in the back of my truck, but got a nice hot shower when we got home.