IH3 Trail #434

—a Hasher is someone who removes his(or her) wet socks and shoes to put on dry Tevas (or Birkenstocks for you Ithacan’s!)

Wet….Damn wet! Though the morning appeared to be fine weather for hashing the terrain proved to be completely saturated for the run set by Hound Whore and Suck My Nipple. We got lost trying to find the start despite following Butt Floss (oh, yeah right!) but we did put flour to disuade followers from making the same mistake we had made. As we were pulling out, another hasher who looked surprisingly like… "That’s Sideshow Jesus" announced Butt Floss, interrupting, though reinforcing my own thoughts. Soon we arrived at the start, where the hares and several other hashers, including Spike, Red Crap, Hot Lips, Pussy Pong, Dances, LOA, Floss, and someone who looked like a clean-shaven, though bushy-haired version of Half-Monty were assembled (oh, don’t let me forget the several species of dogs). The hash began up a hill/waterfall that vaguely resembled a washed-out, limited-access roadway and I resourcefully took advantage of one of the dog’s overexhuberance to pull me up the hill, leaving nearly all other hashers far behind. I soon realized the folley of my ways, however when I found that, given the washed-out, over-grown state of the trail, my braking system was non-functional (does anyone else notice the overly-gratuitous use of hyphens in my prose??) The first beer check was a good opportunity to dry our spirits while allowing the spirits to whet our whistles! Monty then awarded hot-lips with a stone foot award for reasons unknown. The respite allowed Ball Wrinkle, along with his hounds in tow to catch up to the pack! Since the dogs were not partaking in the embibement, they sought out other mischeif (everyone needs a vice!) It seems that Max & Parker’s were to find and roll in dead carcasses (typicall manly stuff!) while our newest dog, [just] Honey, preferred a mud facial, and/or decided she preferred becoming a brunette rather than a strawberry blonde! On-On led us through still more shiggy, then down a long hill wherein a passing hiker sought out LOA over the passing men to inquire as to our mission (I wonder why?!?). Sounding interested, he obtained our hash contact information and continued on his own trek.
Trail then led us over a mechanical marvel of a bridge built to withstand the next thousand years, judging by the hefty hardware, or until the 4×4 posts rotted away (Not surprising coming from the Cornell Civil
[over]Engineering Club!) Just over the bridge, I found myself complaining about some jerk tossing a garbage bag out off the trail, until I found it to contain Beer stop #2.
A back-check led us around some beautiful terrain through a Beaver-Check (Thanks Pussy Pong!) and back to the cars where the crowd quickly got scent of Parker’s conquest; the awful dead-animal smell he had pilfered from a deer carcass or some such thing. Down-downs began with a toast honoring micro-brew, courtesy of Raidr of Nittany Valley (PS: if you can go to any weekend, this is the one to go to!!! See www.nvhhh.org – Aug 27-29th and it is much closer than usual, only about 2-2.5 hours away!!) –end gratuitous plug–
The down-downs also included the usual crimes/rewards as well as visitors and a naming of our dog, [just]
Honey: Pig-Pen

It was a great hash and great to see everyone!!

On-On,

Calvin