IH3 Trail #427

The Passion of the Hash

Mel Gibson couldn’t of filmed a better holiday story that this one!
It was the day before Easter when we met for our traditional easter beer hunt at the traditional spot (the park with the funny name that i can’t spell up in t-burg)

After trying in vain to catch a fish out of the lifeless lake Cayuga, I decided to wander on over to the parking lot where Floss, Loa, Calvin , Fuckem, and a whole bunch of other miscreants and hangers-on were gathered, being herded into a small group by a wild pack of mangy dogs.

More people arrived and more dogs. Let’s see if I can remember them all…other then the ones mentioned above, and myself, there was ET, Grande Chucha, Rowdy Bush, Point Five Monty, Mr. Wrinkle, Country Cock, Trojan, BS, *69….hmmmm…. anyone else? There were a ton of virgins too, including one family that was out for a family stroll who accidently bumped into our gang and decided to join us in our fun.

The object of the day’s hash was not running, or anything that even resembled exercise, it was to find hidden beer and easter eggs. So off we went, the pack of 11 dogs and 17 hashers, yelling "on-on" while running through Funny-named Park…

Mel Gibson lurked in the bushes waiting with a nail gun and crucifix for the weak and/or young among us to fall out of the pack and into his raving lunatic clutches…but we stuck together and made it to the first EBN (Easter Beer Near) without losing anyone.

Beer and eggs were found by most everyone…I found a blue straw, which, on account of it’s pretty color, I assumed was an easter treat, so I carted it around with me for the rest of the hash… d’oh!

Soon we were On again, up to the road, up the hil, up and up and up, and then into the woods, where suddenly we were upon more beer: beer in the trees, beer in the ground, eggs, shiggy and a couple of group hash pictures (where are they???).

The horn sounded and we were off again, just as a guy with blue and white face paint, wearing a kilt and screaming some stupid thing about Scotland jumped out of the bushes and made a grab for me….I managed to hit him on the head with a Rolling Rock bottle which put him out long enough for me to escape and join the rest of the pack.

ON-ON to the gorge overlook, more easter beers, more eggs, more fun…

Somewhere along the line we lost Trojan…did Mel get him?

All the virgins seemed to stick around though, even the family who was out for a weekend stroll in the park. Eventually, after many long, long miles, rabid rabbits and insane Hollywood holy rollers we managed to find our way back to the cars. A mini-down down was done for the virgins Just Ted and Just Meredith, who had some lame-assed excuse about having to leave us..Then we were off to Floss and LOA’s home.

Our RA, Dances, was AWOL, so Calvin substituted…most everyone drank for something or another…this time, the non-dog owners had to drink!! HAHAHAHA! TAke that, you non-dog owners! One of the virgins had to drink for the hienous crime of marrying Calvin’s sister…there was something murky about that down-down too…mention of a sister, a wife…Calvin?…hmmm…..sounded sketchy to me.

The evening chill soon overtook the hash and the weak and young and old started falling out of the pack and going home. Circle was closed and a feast of burgers and dogs and yummy cheap beer followed.

Upon general readership and movie viewings of this hash/re-hash, we should gross $100 million and convert at least 2 or 3 virgins to our cause…don’t you think?

The End
Your Humble Muffet