A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
ReHash – Ithaca 4th Analversary weekend – June 28-30th ("Hare’s looking at you gorges")
The weekend started off with a warm sunny summer day… Ball Wrinkle tapped the kegs and Big Stonz unloaded the hot tub as hashers began arriving. Sometime after 7pm everyone started looking for the bus, which actually found the camp this year. So we all piled in the small bus and we started to pull away, but some late-comers arrived JUST in time (Goldiecocks for one, from Nittany), and halfway into town Extra Testicle forced us to pull over for bladder problems… but eventually we made it to the start of the full-moon trail, which was in collegetown. Before entering Johnny O’s, we got a nice group photo (we need that for our website!) and then it was in for a lot of pitchers, and to say hi to a good number of hashers just joining us for the full-moon part of the weekend. I’d say there must’ve been 40-50 hashers on trail that night, but I’m not sure… I just know that Johnny O’s was empty before we arrived, and full while we were there! Anyway, after our fill and our share of mardi-gras beads, we went looking for trail… and we found it… going down Cascadilla gorge! I remember something about running around the streets of the commons area, and then we suddenly found ourselves in front of Pete’s Downtown Bar! And so we got our fill of beer once again. From here the trail got a little confusing but we found ourselves heading further west towards 13, and some even went as far as on Rte 89… they couldn’t find marks and just kept running. Thats when the pack stopped looking for flour much and just sniffed for beer… and found it at O’Leary’s! So on-in to O’Leary’s we went, grabbing pitchers and a couple tables. Those of us that cared to chatted with some non-hashers, and there was some exchanging of Mardi-gras beads somewhere in there. The band was pretty good too, but we didn’t get to listen to much of them, as we were getting ready to hit the trail again as they were starting. The trouble with the rest of the trail is there was none! Or at least very few of us could find flour. So we just took off towards the commons and figured it out along the way… On-on to the Chanticleer! And as we’re coming into the chanty we see Little Oral Annie with pasta and salad, so we grabbed what we could and carried it all up to the Chanty loft. And of course here’s where things got a bit more interesting…of course there was food and beer, but somehow Tighty Whitey and I ended up enjoying the last bar of the evening in our boxers. LOA got a good dose of testes on her courtesy of us (where are the pics of that?!), and I’m sure there’s other trouble we got ourselves into. And then of course we packed it up and piled into the bus… back to Arnot… without Atomic Duck! Back at camp we drank ourselves into oblivion, with strip jenga and two beer pong tables (that was both nights, right?… or just Saturday?). Obviously my memory is a little fuzzy here… but Atomic managed to catch a cab ride back to camp courtesy of the full-mooners who weren’t spending the entire weekend with us. Thanks for a great full moon trail to our hare… 1/2 Monty!!!!
The next morning was rough for everyone, but was made better by Calvin Klimax’s breakfast. So we recovered and started a couple games of ultimate frisbee. Later, Little Oral Annie and ButtFloss held a chalk talk for the ages! Dr. Floss and "Drop the Chalk" Annie gave us all a view that everyone enjoyed… for those of you who weren’t there, words can’t do justice to it, so you’ll have to see pics of it! (are there any?) And after that pleasurable experience, we were off on trail… and up, and up, and up, and up some more. Some didn’t make it and turned back, but most of us just kept walking, until the beer check at the top… and everyone was happy again! Floss was there waiting, having driven his SUV up there with a keg and some food. After drinking our fill of beer we took off again, eventually finding a keg partially submerged in a pond. Ball Wrinkle went wading with Puker, and others wandered off for murkey moments. But before long, it was off on trail again, and to the Easy/Tough trail split. I went on the Tough trail, which went downhill, got our feet wet in a nice stream, and back up to camp long before the Easy runners made it back. Apparently their trail was a lot of uphill, and contained more BEER. Maybe it wasn’t so easy, but they made it back and drank more BEER with us at camp. Thanks for a great trail LOA and Floss!
From then on, we enjoyed an awesome dinner… smoke grilled lake trout courtesy of 1/2 Monty was the main course, which was followed by our circle, where we all drank more BEER, and we made the hares sit on ice for half an hour for a back-check 35 on trail. Soon the DJs arrived and we started karaoke, beer pong, strip jenga and drank more BEER! Then time flew because we were having so much drunken fun, and it was midnight before we new it… time for the nekkid run! Clothes were flying everywhere, and glow-in-the-dark body paint was appearing on nipples. And of course, then we partied until we couldn’t stand, and paid for it the next morning… some of us more than others. Recovery was helped by a hot breakfast, a LONG fat boy trail set by Skull, and soaking in the Big Stonz’s cold tub.
Sadly, that was the end of the weekend. It was a ton of fun… can’t wait until next year’s. Thanks to everyone who pitched in!!!!
On-on-on!
-Dances with Head
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"Don’t Move!"
Ball Wrinkle walking across the lawn in front of the main lodge looked about 80 feet away to see who was yelling at him. What he saw was Scooby Snatch with a surgical tubing sling shot aimed right at him with water balloon ready to fly.
Undaunted, Ball Wrinkle turned his back side towards Scooby, dropped trou, bent over and presented a considerable target. Perhaps he didn’t know what Extra Testical learned moments before:
Scooby’s a good shot.
80 feet. Low trajectory. Direct hit to Ball Wrinkle’s back side!
Entirely unfazed (showing the steady demeanor of a future GM —
hint hint), Ball Wrinkle bowed to the cheers and continued his march to the main building.
Moments earlier ET was in Scooby’s sights. When "invited" to not move, ET turned face front and dropped trou to present… well… a target. He ended up doing the Rocky Horror Picture Show dance in reverse… pelvic thrusts, hands on the hips, taunting Scooby as he missed by yards, and then had to do a sudden jump to the right to save his John Henry. Turns out Scooby was just getting his range.
…
Anyone remember when Rowdy Bush was shy? No more. Man she got her money’s worth. Strippin’ boys left and right. Doing naked team holla hoop competitions.
…
So Butt Floss puts together an excellent chalk talk before the run, complete with professor’s smock and svelt lovely assistant… LOA dressed in innocent school girl attire with a mini-skirt. As Floss turns to the chalk board to explain Ithaca Hash symbolism —
apparently we’re a bit different in the way we do things — Floss drops his chalk. Damn good acting or maybe we were drunk, but it appeared to be a mistake until his lovely assistant bent over to pick it up. Man Floss couldn’t hold onto the chalk more than a minute or two before it would slip out again and LOA would bend over to pick it up. Chants galore including: "Drop the chalk!" and "LOA, we love your Butt Floss!"
Then as the chalk talk ended, Floss asked if there were any questions. You could tell he was quite genuinely taken aback when completely-new-to-the-hash virgin Just Tom had some questions. He asked them like an irate customer. He wanted answers! He spat out about eight questions full volume: "Why is the word ‘phonetics’
not spelled the way it sounds?!! Why are APARTments built TOGETHER??!!! Why is the word ‘abbreviations’ sooooo faaaaaaaking long!!!??"
Floss swung with the impromptu humor and declared this anything-but-shy virgin a "professor emeritus of hash humor" and we were off on a truly beautiful trail through rolling hills and pristine valleys.
…
Pub Crawl:
Just Dan muttering on trail that he’d rather be "napping" with the two beautiful non-hashettes he met at the first bar… is that where "Muff Denied" is from?
Broken Pole dancing on tables at O’Leary’s.
End of Friday Pub Crawl: the bus leaves back to camp. Sky Wacker leaves the Loft (upstairs Chanticleer) with a few hash stragglers.
Still immersed in hash culture… or at least ‘hash thinking’ if there is any such thing… Sky Wacker walks into the Chanticleer with a good buzz on and sees a woman he sort of knows bending over to take a shot at pool. Decides its time for a hash hello so he grabs her hips and chews on her butt for a couple of seconds, then stands up to realize that… he is no longer in hash culture… luckily he was in such a good mood and drunk enough that he saw the humor in it and luckily she and her husband,who was standing next to her, did also and they (Sky Wacker, friend and hubby) spent the rest of the night drinking together discussing things like whether it was her butt or the side of her hip. (final analysis: butt) Might have helped that she is a Philosophy professor… abstract thinking does at times provide a needed oasis.
The rest of the bar was a bit perplexed as to how that happened without a bit of a brawl.
Must mean that running through gorges and drinking and singing with hashers creates a good spirit and a good spirit goes a long way… ("Shit man, that would have to be one motherfuckin charmin’ pig.")
To the Hash!