A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
Have you already run out of things to do the summer? Are the kids / significant others getting rambunctious? Do you miss hurting all over? Are you bored? Do you have a day job?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then come on down to Allison Acres were Master of Ceremonies Hot Lips and his noble clan will keep you entertained / out of breath for hours.
Look on in wonder as Doris Dicktorius gets naked in view of children.
Watch the drama unfold as Porcelain Goddess faces Spike the collector.
Enjoy car chases with flying pudding shots from Butt Floss.
Bask in the wisdom of Inspector Speculum and Road Kill.
Sing along with JSUAD around the fire / cold stream filled with gnats.
Place bets with Nurse TaKillYa on her world-renowned dog fights between Hailey and Shocker.
Heckle Always A Bridesmaid as he finds another back check.
Battle Just John for the title of “King of the Tramp.”
Get the latest fashion tips from the newly named Lil Spermaid.
Or just sit back and admire the beauty of Jiffy Lube. sigh . . .
At the base camp, feel free to play with the baby lamb, the goat, and the bunny or enjoy the rocket ship, the tree house, the swing set, the sand box, the zip line over the pond, the water trampoline, the diving board, and the strawberries with chocolate syrup, cookies and ice cream! Hell, there’s even beer . . . somewhere . . . eventually . . . But if that’s not enough, Hot Lips’ realm extends far beyond the borders of Allison Acres. Known as the mob boss of Tburg, Hot Lips can call in a favor to get you access anywhere in the region. In Hot Lips land there is no private property; the whole world is his shiggy, his sharp, painful, never-ending shiggy.
Don’t just take my word for it. Look at our happy customers. People make the trip from as far as Flour City (Just Ethan, Just Phil, Just Ryan, and Virgin Mark) and California (Hump Me Dump Me and Lord Bürpenstain). Recent newcomers Adrian, Alex, Ethan, Gordon, Greg, Justine, Margie, and Michelle enjoyed themselves so much that they swore they would be back shortly. Just Betsy said it was the best flour-based utopia she’s ever been to.
Hot Lips Land is only open once a year sometime in June, so be sure to mark your calendars and get your tickets.
On – can I be sponsored now?
Mouthful of Clam