A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
Buttermilk Falls Hash
Ok, before this hash gets any foggier than it already was that day, here is the rehash- Having just gotten back from Harrisburg’s Stinko, C-Smith, Pippi, Floss, and I arrived late (later than normal) to the start of the hash to see Lickher Harder, Hot Lips, and the virgin hares, Jiffy Lube & Just Sue, standing around wondering if anyone else would show up on this beautiful, rare, sunny Ithaca day. Hashers slowly began to arrive in no particular order: Tequila, JSUAD, Road Kill, Hot Lips, Phil McCrackin, Women There, Pussy Pong, Dances with Head.
After a long wait (with NO beer!) for the illustrious Flour City children to arrive on the mystery bus (they seem to be hashing with us frequently these days, apparently there is a beer shortage in Rochester?) the pack gave up and took off in direction of the trail, only to loose it after a mile or so. Back and forward tracking we went, but no flour? Were the hares conserving it for some reason? On-on we went until we found flour and after following many false trails, we see the Mudmobile pulling into the park across the street.
After scrambling up a hill to the awaiting beer stop, the Flour Children quickly followed: MudMan, Lollipoop, HorseJerker, Wigas, Dr. S., Water Prick, Douche of Hazard, and Robins Wood. All quickly began talking about the debauchery of the weekend past, when the queen of Ithaca debauchery herself arrived! Porcelain Goddess arose out of the darkness of the forest to join us and trailing close behind her, MasterBaster and Burpie (who managed to make it home from H5, “drop” Alli off at the airport AND make it to the hash! At this point, the pack totaled 26 hashers in all! After drinking the rest of the beer, it was on-on around the lake at Buttermilk Falls and on-on to the next beer stop.
On-up this large hill the pack went- Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells… smelly- like a back-check!!
Before we knew it, it was on-in . . . and here’s where things really got weird . . . Dances finds a plastic bat and begins “testing” the sound resonance against PG and Burpie’s ass. It was determined that Burpie is much too bony, and that PG’s gave the most pleasant sound as well as giving a kick-back to the bat.
As circle commenced amongst the mayhem, something was mentioned involving Road Kill, JSUAD, and a murky moment of sorts involving RK’s whole package, but it was quickly lost and circle went on.
Virgin Hares Just Sue and Jiffy Lube drank, FRBs, BLEABs and BLABs drank, all those who traveled to H5 for the weekend: LOA, Floss, PG, Pippi, C-Smith, Burpie, MB, JSUAD, and the MudMobile crew.
MasterBaster and LOA drank because she made MB get naked, which apparently some of the males in the crowd didn’t like, although I heard no objections from the harrierettes. MB also drank for having the worst tent in Harrisburg, although Burpie did clarify that MB never slept in it, because he actually was sleeping in his tent and used his hip as a pillow—anyway, not sure how that one got by the hash and wasn’t punished with a down-down! Poor hasher, he seems to offend everyone!
Water Prick did a down-down for peeing in circle, but explained he just had an ice bag on his knee to cover u injuries sustained while fire jumping. Listen up kiddos, don’t stand to close to a hasher. You’ll catch it’s stupid.
Circle finally ended with a surprise from our virgin hares- a Spongebob Square Pants piñata! Is there a possible naming for Just Sue in all of this? I think it’s something we need to keep in half-mind. All the hashers had fun whacking away with the bat, sticks, and their hands/feet until Spongebob finally spewed forth his guts and all the hashers gobbled them up. Hey, good people don’t rip other people’s arms off!
On that note, the next hash will be hared by Lickher Harder and Burpie . . .
On-on,
Little Oral Annie