A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
After a rather frigid morning, I pulled up to the hash, got out of the car, and realized that is was turning into a warm day in Ithaca. Master Baster, UFO, Bedside Pole-dancer, Crazy Eyes, and an Ithaca-newcummer Just Rob were there drinking Rolling Rock in the parking lot. After a couple minutes, Butt Floss and Spike both pulled in also. Floss was hurtin’ something fierce, having crashed a day before the hash, and had just showed up to sell a Hash shirt or two. Meanwhile, MB noted that there were chalk marks on the other side of the Creeker, which was a surprise to me – I’d brought chalk for a “spin the bottle live hash” – and Burpenstain and Just Ali pulled in too.
So there we were, with a pre-laid trail before us, but no clue as to who the hares were. Burpenstain said that he heard Porcelain Goddess might have set, tipping us off that he had some fore-knowledge of what was in store for us, but we were still uncertain as to what role PG, Burpenstain, or Just Ali might have played. It was a mystery!
The mystery having been established, we explained the marks to Just Rob, who’d hashed once at Princeton but forgotten how hashing marks worked, and bid Floss farewell as he went home to recover from his injuries. Then we were off, an on up past the old gun factory, to Stewart Ave, where we hung a left. We passed over the bridge above the Ithaca Falls, with great views, and on-up and -up. Master Baster found the trail leading into Sunset Park, where there was an “HV.” Apparently he had never seen a “Hash View” rest before, or even thought such a thing as a “dry” rest might exist in the hash, and so went looking for the stash of beverages nearby while the rest of the pack struggled to catch up. And, surprise, he found a bottle of well-aged vodka – leading him to conclude that “HV” stood for “Hash Vodka.”
Once we’d all caught up, gotten our breath back, and enjoyed the view of Ithaca and the lake, we were off again. Crazy Eyes ran about the place as we passed another dogwalker, and we started going on-down the hill. Soon, we came to a check, leading into a small nature preserve, and found a glorious “BN”! After the consumption though, it was down the ridge of the preserve, which took us right down to the Ithaca High School. UFO and Bedside took this opportunity to radically cut-off the rest of trail, and head back to the Creeker. The rest of us turned right and ran to Stewart Park. There, we found another “BN” along a wooded path on the far end of Stewart’s shoreline.
The beverages were tasty, and the banter while we drank was fun, but it ended all too soon again. We continued on trail again to the footbridge over to the woods in Renwick Preserve at Stewart Park. We passed under the Route 13 bridge over Fall Creek, and up the footpath to the Fall Creek Movie Theater, and back to the Creeker, from there.
Pussy Pong bobbitted, joining us for the On-in, and down-downs commenced. Burpenstain and Just Ali were accused of being the “Mystery Hares” and drank. FRBs, DFLs, Bobbits, Moyls, BLEABs, BLABs, Crashers, SCBs, Ithaca Virgins, Cums-lately’s drank, dog owners, and mugless wankers drank. Discussion of a name for Just Ali was brought up, but was tabled – some ideas included facts such as: (1) she kept falling on her first hash; (2) despite her husband’s hash name (Burpenstain), she is anatomically incapable of burping; (3) her knee has a hole in it; and… um, what else? 😉
I think that’s it, but then again, the entire day was pretty much a mystery to me!
On-on,
-Dances With Head