IH3 Trail #466

Rehash 9/11/05: Vanishing virgins, like ZOINKS!

It was yet another beautiful hash day on Connecticut Hill when hashers Spike, Butt Floss, Little Oral Annie, Hound Whore, Hot Lips, Sheman, Deep Flute, Scooby Snatch, Still Wet in Certain Places, Just Alex, Just Amanda and virgin, Just Jeff (or as was debated, are you sure you aren’t Just Eric from our hash list?) The pooches included Lucky, Boomer, Maxi Pad, and Just Jeff’s cutie-pie dog whose name I forget, who were "excited" to get on trail with us or maybe I should say with each other.

After a brief chaulk talk by HW, we set out to find trail reaching the first check only to exclaim almost in unison "where’s Just Jeff?" We had only completed the equivalent of a fat boy trail and he already got scared of us and ran away? too much running and not enough beer for him? He looked like a fit guy, so how could we have lost a virgin already? This can’t be- so HW heads back to the start while the rest of us continued on-on.

At the first beer check we all gather around HW as he tells us that poor Just Jeff apparently sprained his ankle and had to head home. We also learn that he was made to cum by Toothy Lunker who wasn’t even at the hash that day- I don’t know about the rest of you, but if Just Jeff ever comes back to the hash (and we certainly hope he does as soon as he is better!) there will most definitely be a naming. I don’t think a virgin has tried this hard to get a name on the first hash since Dances with Head or Still Wet in Certain Places….oh wait, that was just two weeks ago… wherever you guys are finding these virgins, keep it up, it’s really making the hash interesting lately for the rest of us.

Anyway, on-on we go through trails and shiggy and more shiggy, up and down, until we come to a clearing where there is a loud humming noise and voila! Another beer stop, right next to a large shed with towers and electrical equipment all around. Maybe it was the electrowaves entering our brains, or maybe the beer, but we decide not to do the third leg of the trail and instead sent people to go pick up the cars with Hound Whore so the rest of us could work on the keg-

Scooby Snatch graciously accepted RA duties, and added some very lively songs to the mix as we handed out down-downs to dog owners, visitors, for all the usual crimes, Deep Flute received a down-down for the most graceful hash crash ever seen (really, if she didn’t already have a name, she would have received one then and there), LOA received a down-down for being overathletic that morning and winning a great new bag to put flour in, Floss got a down-down for refusing to get up to help hound whore set trail at 8am, and then HW got a down-down for even SUGGESTING they set trail at 8am. Scooby drank for admitting he had new shoes (they looked like a pair HW and I both had in kindergarten, but then we noticed the velcro, which didn’t exist back then) and then he did another down-down OUT of the shoe for dramatic effect, and/or to gross out the newer hashers who looked on with horror.

Needless to say, there was a bit of a scare when the keg went dry, but we were saved by some cans of old swill. Circle ended and weenie roasting began (no not three times a weenie, the hot dog variety) HW made a good pasta salad and we also had spicy rice krispie treats courtesy of Spike. All and all another fine day of hashing!!!

PS- Update on Just Jeff: I hear from Toothy Lunker that Just Jeff is in bad shape this week, she said something about a torn ligament… I think she was referring to his ankle?

The worst thing in the world is a drinking companion with a memory. :o)