IH3 Trail #456

The Day of Five Virgins

Ahh the pressure! Ever since I stupidly agreed to be hash historian I have had writers block – yeah that’s it that’s why this is so long in coming.

So all you wankers who missed the last hash missed the day when virgins and guests nearly outnumbered Ithaca hashers. As we all know wiener cums in threes and this week he came with three virgins as well, just Deitrich, just Franco and just Aaron. And we’d love to keep them around even though they were pretty athletic. We also had a virgin appearance by just Zoe the sister of a guest hasher, but non-virgin Just Alivia (who we promise we will not name, so keep hashing with us! had to stop typing there for minute as my fingers were crossed) Just Kevin, a self gratified! virgin who found out about hashing over the internet, actually came without any half-minded prodding — welcome all! Keep Hashing! Also in attendance were ET, DWH, 3 times, Pond Scum, Spike, and Hound Whore.

It was a great warm and sunny day. And to think just two weeks ago I was hashing in several layers and gloves! Sphincter Sickle and Ball Wrinkle set a great live trail up on Hammond Hill. Up across the road we went onto the biking trails. We never did catch up to the hares — of course there were plenty of checks and at one point we continued to follow a mark-less false trail for about 1/4 of a mile. We did find beer though — and what’s this about another 1/2 mile up trail another hash rest….. half minds confused. The hares only had one backpack when they left and we drank that already… lets check for beer anyway, you can’t be too cautious. But we didn’t find any and one hasher pointed out that this was the spot a couple years ago were hash beer had been stolen. Ya know you expect confusion, obfuscation and to be led down all sorts of shiggy false trails on a live hare run but teasing hashers with false promises of beer that’s just down right cruel. Somebody should report these guys to the SPCA. Did we make them drink for that? Damn!

Wait a minute Parker John is no longer with us. After calling out his name a few times we hoped he had found the hares and pantsed them. Across the pond we all swam like the good true trail followers we all are and up the field to the on-in. Parker was indeed there, he actually was the FRB/SCB as he had joined with some civilian runners and was already back at the parking lot when the hares got there. Some hashers drank for some accusations. There was lots of blood on trail today about 6 hashers drank for that. Of course BW was quick to point out that all the thorns were only on false trails. Dances got a couple RA down-downs. ET drank for all his bowling trophies. 3 times a weenie, Pond Scum and Sphincter are the ever-so-missed cums latelys. PP took a break form grading papers and joined us at the circle were she drank for being the bobbit. And lastly we gave a birthday side-side to Ball Wrinkle. After the circle was closed we discussed some things like the upcoming Ithaca Pirate weekend for which we still have a number of unregistered Ithaca Hashers…….

On-On
Hound Whore