IH3 Trail #501 brrrr!

It was a cold day, that day in January (like the 28th) when we hashed from east hill plaza, but not so cold that harriers would pass up an opportunity to hunt beer while running over varied terrain. So those who were more thirsty than chilly including myself(Lord Bürpenstain), Pussy Pong, Extra Testicle, Butt Floss (LOA was being a pussy, and doing homework, even though she had time on Saturday for r*cing, which she could have skipped to do homework), Just Nancy, Just Steve, European Whore (visiting from Nittany) and Just Joe (virgin from Nittany), as well as our hares, Dances With Head, and Just Joel (who has been haring a lot, thanks man!) decided to go hash.

After staying warm in cars until the last minute, chalk talk was given, and off we went. At first we had a hard time finding the trail, but soon we were off past all the horses next to the plaza, and then through the horse trails that belong to cornell and onto the east hill recway. Most of us soon abandoned the wide plowed trail to follow koolaid through the thorny shiggy. Some of the hash (OK, it was just the visitors, I guess Nittany hashers are smarter than Ithaca hashers) found the beer near behind that building where the solar house was built without going through all the shiggy and were already enjoying their beerverages when the FRB’s arrived.

After quenching thirst, and demonstrating penis penmanship (the letters DWH were found in yellow snow) the hash was on-on again. Heading over towards campus, zigging and zagging along roads, through parking lots, and along trails… Soon we had run across Ho (haha, prostitute…) plaza, confusing many undergrads, and were heading into north campus, crossing one bridge over fall creek, only to return to the south side of lake beebe via another bridge within 200 yards. And then there was more beer, and rejoicing, and a visit from Women There, who had encountered the hash while driving around. WT gave us a lame excuse about an injury that prevented him from hashing, but fortunately it didn’t prevent him from joining us for a beer.

After most of the hash was shivering, but no longer thirsty we set off again. This time we wondered over towards the vet school, meandering behind the green houses, and then down to pine tree road for a long section in the shoulder to get us back to the cars.

We moved the on-in to the location of the first beer near so we could avoid police scrutiny. We also gave J’Suad a call, since he had left a note on Floss’ car expressing a desire to bobbit our trail. Once we formed circle, we punished the hares: J.Joel, and DWH , the bleabs and blabs: Floss, and EW, the FRB: myself (would have been the FRBs, but Just Steve and Just Nancy had to take off pre-circle). We welcomed the virgin and visitor: J.Joe, and EW. Some time around then, J’Suad showed up. We made him drink for having cut off the trail. We made him drink for leaving his hat on. We made him drink for competing the previous day (Floss and I had to join him for that…). We made him drink for forgetting his mug… Basically we tried to see how fast we could get J’Suad drunk. Several hashers decided to do on-after at wings over Ithaca. And we went in peace, and then got a piece.

-on-on,
Bürpy