IH3 Trail #469

Oh! The Re-Hash! That wanker Floss was supposed to write it. Who the heck suggested he do it? We all know he never really does them. Instead, he some how manages to sweet talk LOA into taking up the pen…..

WHAT??? Country C*ck set a Hash!??….re-Hash #469

Yes indeed! And now I must tell you about it so that we can get d -erections to the next hash! :o)

It all started on a cold, damp, Autumn day….typical weather for hashing in Mythaca….

Pippi and C-Smith pulled in to Chez LOA’s and unleashed their holy terror…Just Arlo….Maxi-Pads partner in crime. After munching their way through all of the deer nuggets in the yard…and leaving a few o their own…the dynamic duo ran to the cars in anticipation of new treasure hunts on trail A bit cramped for wrestling space en-route to trail, they amused themselves by pretending to be that famous pair of K9s that adorn women’s painted chests…..by nestling up close to Pippi’s neck and breathing heavily upon him with their deer nugget halitosis. Ahhhhh…..what a nice relaxing ride to the hash…..

We arrived just in time to see ET moving his truck farther into a muddy ditch and then proceeded to park in the same ditch. Before we had finished, Women There? drove past us to park. Wow! haven’t seen him on trail in ages I thought to myself. Next, BW came cruising by with Puker and Poke-A-Snatch. As we clamored out of out dog-breath infested vehicle Country Cock offered us a beer and a warm sitting spot on the hood of his truck. Given that it was damp and rainy…I took him up on the truck offer. (The beer was a given….) As we hung around for others to show up…who said they would just a week before ….AHEM!…we swilled beer and talked of finer things…more beer!
The dogs, Maxi-pad, Just Arlo, Puker, Poke-A-Snatch and Just "Oh Crap" (furry friend of Just JJ and Just Joy. Strange name I suppose but, that’s what LOA told me it was when I asked her if she remembered it….) were running around and having a great time pulling stuff out of the ditch while waiting for us to get on with it.

CHECK IT OUT! Howled our hare……and we did. Well, most of us did. BW was still futzing around with his Bluetooth/GPS transceiver and taping it to his head (HEAD! WHO SAID HEAD?) gear. Boy, doesn’t he look
"hot"…. Almost as hot as Floss, who was wearing Little Oral Annie’s wind breaker. Apparently he didn’t bother checking to see which one he grabbed as he dashed from the house…dumb-ass! He should drink for that!

Trail was quite nice….and wet! Go figure…with all the rain that we’ve had of late. But, as we have not been atop Durfee Hill in quite some time, the trail was most enjoyable. And, surprise, surprise…this Hare knew how to count at checks when it came to a false!
BW should have been taking notes… :o)

Eventually, Pippi Schlongstocking, our FRB dujour, came upon a marking strange to him. HR? Home Run?
What could it mean? Floss, quick to assist, quipped
"Hash Rest…Dummy! Find the BEER!" Well, that’s all Pippi needed to hear and, find the BEER he did! And, there was pre-Halloween candy too! Or, was that POST-Halloween candy from last year? Hmmmmmm….. Ah, who cares! It went great with the beer!

Our thirsts momentarily quenched, we were off once again in search of MORE BEER! So much for that momentary quenching crap….

Off through the woods and up steep enbankments we went. Through brush and blow-downs we clammored.
Until….another HR was spotted by Pippi. He decided not to ask this time and began sniffing around for that delightful nectar. Low and behold…he found it!
And, there was a large jar with it filled with some floating bags. What could it be? Hell, if it’s with the BEER, it must be drinkable! It was! Warm tea with whiskey!!! Hhhhhmmmm…..YUMMY! Our hare was ever so kind to us….

On out again we staggered. So much so that Just Joy slipped, grabbed a near by tree, and proceeded to give us quite a show. Didn’t realize that she was a trained "pole dancer"….Hhhmmm…naming idea?

We eventually made it back to the start where we decided to venture on down the road a piece to CC’s house and an awaiting bonfire. Of course, not before BW drove his truck over a few fallen trees….

Circle commenced once the fire was going with ET doing the honors while we all munched on goodies that Just JJ and Just Joy brought for us. Hhhhmmm….fresh apple slices dipped in caramel…. We were even joined briefly by CC’s boss…Just Amanda…and their young yet-to-hash son, Sam who will be two years old soon!

Our hare, Country Cock, drank numerous time for his trail and the fact that he has been promising to set one since Spring. (Apparently he has been too busy getting his name splattered all over the papers for other types of trails lately……OVER ACHIEVER!!)

ET and WT drank for Cums Latelies.

WT, BW and ET drank for no mugs…I think.

Dog owners drank … as usual.

Floss drank for some thing….but not for LOA’s jacket

Others drank…but I forget why.

Then….we decided it was high time to name Just JJ and Just Joy. It turns out that Just Joy has a little nick-name for Just JJ….Feather Bush! Try as we may…we couldn’t get a full explanation about this. Rats!
Well, then we find out that Just Joy gets lots of awards for her bedside manner at the hospital. Wonder if that’s where she practices that fancy dancing stuff? With so much material to work with, we sent our friends off…into the darkness….and away from the fire, food and BEER. What bastards we were!

We eventually invited them back…feeling guilty and all. And now, forever forward in Hash Circles….

Just Joy will be known as "Bedside Pole Dancer" and

Just JJ will be known as "Unidentified Feathered Orifice" (UFO)

As circle wound down…and our newly named harrierettes put their clothes back on…so did the fire.

On our way out, we were treated to a tour of CC’s famous Straw House. What an awesome job he and Just Amanda have done!!

On-Out, Floss

PS: OK, now, about those di-rections to the next Hash???? 🙂