IH3 Trail #408

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon as I drove thru downtown Ithaca on my way to the Fall Creek House. I (Red Crap) was full of anticipation as this would be my first "spin the bottle" hash. I was expecting lots of women in sports bras, for those with dirty minds, And… Lots of drinking from bar to bar for those with a higher tolerance. I got and saw neither! Instead I ended up being the Early Arriving Bastard promptly at 3:00, then their was Spike, whose vehicle was already in the parking lot before mine. Showing up next was 1/2 Monty, followed closely by Little Miss and Ball Wrinkle. Little did they know… they should not be so close behind. Then came in our Late Arriving Bastard…Dances with Head. 1/2 Monty bought the first round, Red Crap the second, this would be in lieu of Hash Cash. As we sat awaiting others, Little miss sat perched upon his stool with his half opened bloodshot eyes, and bed head hair as BW told stories of cabins, whip cream and the Tour de Chug from Nittany. We finally finished the pitchers as we then spun the bottle among your little "dick fest". I believe Dances was a half inch long, and BW was quoted at being one and half inches. Together they were to surprise Pussy Pong with the full two inches as she arrives home for cross county Washington). If and at her digression, the 2 inches was not enough length, Dances was awarded the Big Balls award from Spike. Back to the Spin…We place the bottle on the pool table for the first and only spin of the day. The bottle turns as we all look away to prevent any unnecessary dizziness. The bottle lands facing Spike. We give him a timely start as everyone changes into running attire, I being the rookie, run in my cargo shorts only too hear from BW as I fall behind on trail that I need running clothes. Like running short are going to make me any faster. Spike lead us on several falsie’s; to the falls, and under the Lake St. bridge and the hill to the cemetery. Once back on trail, Spike ventured behind the School along the creek. Once we back on the main road way, we had to pause to find trail…As we searched, 1/2 Monty said he needed to go the bathroom. To our disbelieve, could 1/2 Monty have SHIT himself for a second time while at fall creek. He must have. He left trail, went back to the car, then proceeded to drive by and say "it sucks to be you". Well, out for a Sunday stroll too Stewart Park where Spike awaits is better than shorts full of shit, back to Watkins. We stand and enjoy smells and view of the lake as several sail boats make use of the breeze, as we listen to the ghetto music in the background. The Second Spin… No spin….Dances volunteers to set trail. Before leaving he receives several suggestions to head back to Fall Creek. By this time, I have caught my breathe and Little Miss is just plain hurting, he suggest we "shadow" Dances. So we did just that, hiding among the trees of Stewart Park and Spike wearing his "Crips" bandana socializes among our ghetto music playing friends. As we watch Dances set a false and then head down the tracks to the next bridge. We choose to take the trail in the forest to stay out of view. Still only to catch up to Dances later on and have Little Miss and Spike be seen. We turn back quickly, yet again, there is Dances. We nonchalantly dart into a open office door to watch Dances from the reflections on the doors and windows set another false. Dances then, made the correct decision to go straight back to Fall Creek. The ON-IN had the five of us deciding who should drink. We all nominated ourselves for something, Spike and I drank for having the same colors on, we all drank for not have Hash mugs even though the Nittany boy had their neon Chug mugs. Spike awarded Dances with Big Balls.

Red Crap