A Drinking Club with a Running Problem
Hares Half Monty and ReLeash Me set a great trail through Cornell on Sunday. The Hash was cut short, however, by an ingenious yet deceptive backcheck in Collegetown. Although not conclusive, all circumstantial evidence pointed to Phil McCrackin’.
Trench Wench really turned it on by bringing three virgins– Candace, David, and Andrew. Andrew did a second down-down for wearing remnants of shoes not unlike the footwear of the mighty Trojan. Candace, being a virgin, was spared drinking for hash-crash and Inspector Speculum (complete with authentic riding crop) was her designated drinker. The hares drank for leaving Candace behind after her spill; they were accused of: endangering the welfare of a virgin.
Dishonorable Discharge once again graced the Ithaca Hash with his presence after an extended dry spell in Oregon (pronounced "organ" if you know what’s good fer ‘ya). Dishonorable was kind enough, and clever enough, to secure a box of girlscout cookies on trail without getting arrested for either larceny or indecent exposure.
Dishonorable, Honey Comb, Bad Girl, and Phil McCrackin embibed for wearing hats in the Hash circle. Bad Girl’s dog Vern pooped inappropriately near the art museum, forcing his mistress to take the heat and down-down a cold brew.
Roto Root’her made the trip from Binghamton and enjoyed the company of Hashers and Eagles alike. That is, ReLeash Me was kind enough to host the On-In at the swank and very tolerant Fraternal Order of the Eagles– of which she is an esteemed member. Not to be unhospitable, several Eagles joined us for down-downs. It was not long before the Hashers were feeding the No Cussin’ jar for using the f*ck word. In fact, the penalties accrued during the On-In will be funding internet access to a small village in Bangladesh.
Finally, Phil McCrackin’ honored Ghanna-ria with the Girley-Man Award. You see, Ghanna-ria was dressed as Fart Man at the Halloween Hash last week. Apparently his costume was rigged with a special tape recorder that broadcast 3 tracks of air-biscuit noise from deep within his tights. Who said Generation X’ers lack motivation?!
See you in a couple weeks! Bring a virgin!
On-on!
Tequila Bill