Although it is true that I wasn’t actually at the hash that many of you ran, I am going to write a rehash about the hash that I did. I had been eagerly awaiting this hash. I planned my whole day around being free at . . . 3:00. Oops. Some of us are creatures of habit, blindly doing things at the same time over and over. Change throws us off. Hashing at two is just not right, hashes are at three. I showed up at the commons at three looking around for some fellow hashers, or at least some hash marks to follow, but I found neither. At about my third lap around the commons I realized that the rest of the hash was about an hour run away from the commons. So I did the obvious and tried to hunt down the hash by car. Again, I saw neither hasher nor hash mark. So I thought I would be clever and get something to eat while the hash ran around, then I could catch the end of the hash on the commons. I am told that the hash did, in fact, go to the commons, but I missed this. So then I though maybe I should go try Schultzies in case the hash went there, but I rejected the only good idea I had had all day and just went home. I think this is the biggest short cut in hash history.
So now I will write about the few things I do know about the hash. I am told that during the run the hash attracted some groupies. Bam Bam described these little urchins as future Beavis and Buttheads. I am sure we were an inspiration to them. At the on in (which was held at Schultzies without me) Cassandra was named Snip Snip for her love of removing genitals from puppies. This is all I actually know, so now I will speculate about things that may have happened. Klaus enthousiastically chased down every wrong trail, through puddles, up hills, and into gorges and Captain Weeny run up behind the hash about 1/2 hour late. Although how he could do this is beyond me because there were no hash marks to follow from the commons. The only other constant in hashing is that, of course, the hash made total nuisanses out of themselves and offended the peaceful citizens of Ithaca.
I don’t know the receding hare line . . . I am not even sure who Bam Bam set this hash with. I am sure Hot Lips will let us all know, including the time, which I am sure will be three.