2/28/16: Trail #782
Leap Year Hash
Hash cash was a low low price of $4
Brown Hole Delivery
The Great Gashby
Trust Me it Won’t Spread
The Wee Baby Shameless
Thank you cum again
It was a freakin’ gift of a day – the weather was so warm that most of us were in t-shirts and a smrt few were even wearing shorts. Trail confounded us right from the start. So many d’erections it could go from the boat house but after a few minutes the sound of Hot Lips horn called us to the right way to go. Over the inlet bridge and onto the new wooden platform we veered off to the left and along the trail through the bird sanctuary. The chalk marks were few and far between and nigh invisible but one of the hares assured us we were on the right track. Trotting along, we nearly missed a T scratched into the dirt. Ookie, Tasty and Cocktail Frank searched in vain for more than two marks to the left but ultimately, trail took us to the RR tracks (CHEW! CHEW!) and the underpass across from Ithaca High School. From here we ran along the natural path between the school and behind the former Fall Creek Cinema to emerge on Lake St. and cross over to Ithaca Falls. Muggles were out in abundance due to the lovely weather and we enjoyed our BN in full view of them and the falls. The raging water sent out a mist that actually felt refreshing at the end of February. Crazypants. The Wee Baby Shameless lived up to his name, greeting everyone and everydog, climbing and running and barking and enjoying himself to the fullest.
Leaving the falls, Kicky and Tasty fell for a X near the top of Gun Hill where Tasty unknowingly dropped her pouch containing her phone, ID and some cash. Other harriers searched for flour up the grassy slope behind the falls but ultimately, trail ran along the fence behind Fall Creek Elementary and Kicky and Tasty were able to shortcut down the stairs and meet up with the hounds below. A few blocks down Linn St, Tasty realized her whole life had fallen off the dog leash. Thankfully, Baster helped her retrace her steps and she found it (but had to run up Gun Hill twice, dammit!).
Trail once again fooled the hounds when we emerged at the intersection of Linn, University Ave and the base of the Cascadilla Gorge trail – Kicky disappeared up Dewitt Pl for several minutes searching for trail but it turned out to be a HV of the creek – in one side and out the other like a queue on a guided tour for prospective students.
Up and across skinny one-way Terrace Pl, a car stopped and waited for us to pass (thank you!) and we were falsely led behind The Rave for a P stop. Then an actual P stop happened IN The Rave for some of the Harriettes who decided to take advantage of a real toilet. Nurse, Tasty, Shiggy Shaman, Gashby and Shittalkie then proceeded to do some serious catching up and short cutting back to trail. We managed to relocate the pack as they were mostly cumming over the footbridge from Ferris Pl to Giles St.
From here it was pretty obvious where the next BN was going to be and we ran/walked/crawled along Giles St. to First Dam (which has a facebook page filled with pictures of college co-eds in bikinis, BTW). AKA Businessman’s Lunch. WTF? Fewer muggles were encountered here but we also lost some hashers as well – notably missing were Hot Lips (shocking!), FertilizedHer and Trust Me. At this point we still had CoCo – not sure when we lost him but I don’t think he made it to the next BN. It was your usual, boring, ugly, typically shitty BN where no one had any love or hugs or giant rocks or dogs running or rock throwing or orange food or laughing. We did learn why Baster was wearing a home-sewn shirt/dress that said OUT OF ORDER and had a ‘NO CHAIR!’ symbol on the front (apparently it was liberated from Regal Cinema the night we went to see Deadpool [best movie night EVARRR]), Cocktail Frank was wearing an electronic toy guitar at this point and also [F]loss got a special beverage in the form of a Ithaca Root Beer since his fanny pack (see what I did there) was pumping him full of all the drugs he could handle at once and still remain standing. <3 Love you, Flossie – you’re doing great! <3
After we finished up our beverages, we climbed back out of the gorge and found a –///—> directly across the street, leading us behind the water treatment plant. Finding an adorable trail back there was a nice surprise with cascading streams and led us up to the South Hill Rec Way. Finding ourselves on a flat cinder path, the FRBs quickly raced ahead and found trail to go over and across and behind and down to the police station. Luckily, Tasty had stolen Handy’s dog, Ellie so there were enough hashers to do the checks counting two dogs. Kicky, Spike, CoCo, Spluigi, Shiggy Shaman, Ookie, Tasty and Two Dogs found their way to the Group Hug check behind Urban Outfitters next to the statue of Maturin.
- “See the Turtle of Enormous Girth”
- “On his shell he holds the Earth.”
- “His thought is slow, but always kind.”
- “He holds us all within his mind.”
The FRBs had moved on by then, however and had crossed under the parking garage past Cinemopolis when they saw a curved mark that made no sense from the d’erection they had approached it. This gave them pause. Using their half-minds, they reasoned out that they must have missed something (like maybe a BN!) and decided to retrace their steps so as to not miss anything good. Lo and behold, at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the parking garage they found a much-stepped upon teeny tiny true trail arrow. Following marks all the way up to the roof and hoping that it would not just lead them right back down the other side where they had already seen trail marks, they got to the top and saw Auto-hasher TYCA sitting there with a cooler of beer. Woo hoo! Following trail pays off. Sometimes. Catching the last bits of full sunlight, we lounged about on top of the world with hungry dogs, tired legs and and two young female muggles having a photo shoot.
- “On his back all vows are made;”
- “He sees the truth but mayn’t aid.”
- “He loves the land and loves the sea,”
- “And even loves a child like me.
- -Stephen King
- When the rest of the pack came along behind, they also partook in a group hug, because dammit hugs are nice.
Forgetting that trail had started from Stewart Park and not The Rave and considering that we had already run nearly six miles, Tasty was slightly confused when trail then led the pack through the Commons (illegal dogs! string band! muggles galore!) toward Cayuga St. and down the road to Thompson Park (yes, it has a name). Here we found Uranus. There was a check here with a ‘shapely bottom’ drawn in the middle of it. A Floss check, we were told. What exactly we were supposed to do with it, no one knew. We ran into a friendly muggle named Tomas that we all know from one of our favorite tequila joints and stopped to say hello to him and the cute baby he was toddling around with.
Coursing down Willow Ave and arriving at the end where it turns into Lincoln St., PG stopped for a pee break in the sparse bushes surrounding Cornell Cooperative Extension where she attempted to write ‘Hi CC!’ in urine. Not sure how that worked out for her since the Wee Baby Shameless absolutely refused to allow for any stopping unless it was on his own terms. Crossing Route 13 near the Haunt, Tasty finally remembered that we had started from Stewart Park. I don’t think she’s very bright – good thing she’s pretty.
We travelled On-In to discover that Cocktail Frank had taken off to avoid Circle but, before he left, he told TYCA that he had clocked our trail at around 8 miles. Damn. Over-achieving hares! Well, who could blame them for wanting to take full advantage of the amazing weather? The answer is… We did. Down downs were well-administered for the twin-kilt-wearing bastards.
Other down downs were given to Handy for r*cist activity who then put on trail trash underpants (ewwwww) and the Sleeve of Shame was given to Flobie but I don’t remember why. FRBs, DFLs, dog owners, and a special ‘leap to the moon’ pin was given out to Tasty because her kennel loves her. <3